Sudden Change of Heart
by sodapoplover
Summary: Dallas deosn't want to live now that Johnny is gone.  No one is close to him like Johnny was.. Or is there no one..?
1. Now I can go see Johnny

Title: Sudden change of heart

Chapter: Now I can see Johnny

Author: sodapoplover

Warning: Guy/Guy

Pairing: Dallas & Tim

Book: The Outsider (I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)

Shoot.

I left Pony at the hospital. Oh well, like it matters. Darrel won't yell at me. He won't have the chance.

Finally I made it to the shop. I waited patiently. I knew the cashier was watching me very suspiciously. My heart beat was going fast... too fast… so fast I almost felt like my heart was going to budge out of my chest. Should I do it…? I got the heater. Should I? Well, why shouldn't I? Johnny's dead. I don't want to keep living if Johnny isn't here. Ponyboy…! Ponyboy won't need me. He has Sodapop. _Yeah… _Just do it. The man kept looking at me. As I walked around slowly looking at the magazines the man ask me if I was going to buy one. I coldly threw a glare at him and ripped one of the magazines. Ugh! I could feel the pain I had gotten from the rumble and it didn't make the pain in my heart feel any better. I slowly walked towards him, holding tightly onto the heater inside my pocket. All I had to do was scare him with the gun and tell him to put the money in the bag. He told me I had to pay for the magazine I ripped. That made me mad. I started to pull out my heater but then all of a sudden I heard the door bell. Someone came in? Now? _Great_.

I turned around and found out it was Tim. Tim Shepard, my friend yet enemy. "Son, you're gonna have to pay for that. Give me the money," the cashier said shakily. Money? I had no money. Tim got some beer cans and lined up behind me. I was shaking. Tim was here. I lost my chance. No, wait! Who said I couldn't do it while Tim is here. The better. Right? I began to pull out the unloaded heater. "Son?" Tim yanked my ear and said rudely, "you're holding up the line." "Give me the money, kid." Ugh! His voice was giving me a headache. That's it! I'll do it now! Right when I got the heater out my pocket cash landed in front of the counter. Tim pushed me out of the way and told the cashier he was going to pay for me. The man gave him the change for the beer cans and gave me a horrid stare. Shepard began to walk away and I kept held of the gun. "You got anything to do?" a rough voice asked. I turned around and there stood Tim. Was he talking to me? "Who? Me?" I stupidly asked. "Naw, the cashier," Tim joked, "yah you. Wanna hang? I need to go knock myself down at my house due to that insane rumble." No. I can't. I have to rob money and the police are supposed to come after me. I'm supposed to be getting shot by them… I'm supposed to be dying. Still hanging on the heater I said nothing. "Well?" Tim asked annoyed. I could hear the man whispering to god for me to go with Tim. Johnny… _Johnny… _"Johnny…" I whispered quietly. "What?" Tim asked, it was more of a command to repeat what I said but you know. My heart was beating faster and it wasn't because of the gun, it wasn't because I was about to rob someone just to die, and it wasn't because Johnny just died. It was because of Tim. I don't why but at that moment I looked him directly in the eyes. His eyes… something about his eyes lift one foot forward. "Yah, I'll go," I said happily. Almost too happily, which was really awkward of me. He walked out the door leaving me behind. As I reached the door, the bell ringed again. Ugh… I turned around to look at the cashier. He was looking at my gun but when he noticed I was looking at him he quickly looked down, so I put it back into my pocket.

I was a few steps behind Tim. While I was walking all I could think about was why is he so far up ahead of me? Was he mad at me? He didn't look back, not even when I made a fake cough, but it seemed pretty real to me. What did I do to make him mad? Well, I didn't say hi to him at the rumble, but that's a stupid excused. What the hell am I thinking? Tim could hardly give a damn. It was bothering me so much that he wasn't talking to me or even looking at me. It ticked me off at the fact that he might be angry at me. But why? The question _why_ kept hitting my brain. I wanted to ask him but I couldn't. I didn't want to admit it but I wasn't _brave_ enough to ask him. Why should it even bother me? Ha, if Tim's mad at me so what? That's not nothing different from the normal. But for some reason this time it was really ticking me off. I don't know why but I didn't want Tim mad at me. At least not now. I walked slower and slower. It was odd but I was beginning to feel upset. The walk seemed like an hour but really it was really only about twenty five minutes. We were only about sixteen feet away from Tim's house. I got a bad feeling in my stomach and when I got to the door I thought… so much for doing it for Johnny.

We were both sitting down on the couch, quietly. C'mon Dal, quit being a girl and just ask him why is he being a jerk! I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"What?" Tim asked rudely. Right then and there I felt like punching him. You invite me to your house and then you just ignore me because you're mad at me for some reason that i don't even know 'bout. That does it!

"Hey!" I finally blurted out. "Why -" but he quickly interrupted me.

"'WHY' WHAT? You know what, let me ask the questions around here!" Tim yelled with anger.

I don't know why but I didn't feel to brave now. Not that I was scared but as if I _had _to listen to him. Almost as if I was his servant and I had done something wrong and he was angrily informing me of a mistake i had done. A big mistake.

"Why the hell were you about to rob that shop?" he screamed. How in the hell did he know I was... I wanted to say something back but couldn't. Alomst if I was scared. Again, not scared of Tim but at the fact that he actually knew. How? "You wanted the police to go after you didn't you?" he asked madly. I froze. My heart was beating fasted again. How? How did he know? "You wnated to die," he said madly yet hurt and then gave a little chuckle, "just for johnny too huh?" What the f*** Dal? I thought you were tougher than that. I thought you were wiser than that. And you always seem to tell everyone to wisen up when you yourself can't even do it." He got me. Yeah, now that hurted me real badly.

"Tim, I didn't-" I squeaked.

"Didn't what? Didn't want to live in a world without your gang's pet?" Tim asked.

I knew Tim was smart and he was right too. I shouldn't underistamate Tim for any reason. He was always wise. He knew that too. Wiser than me. Tim is right, i don't even wise up myself. I shouldn't tell Ponyboy things I don't mean... I mean them, I just don't notice I often don't follow them. I was about to make a big mistake. But still I can't go on. Johnny's gone. I wanted to tell Tim I didn't mean it, I wasn't thinking. I guess he must think I'm pretty stupid right about now. "Tim... c'mon... I... I wasn't..." I tried to speak. "How much does he mean to you?" he asked quietly, looking me directly in the eyes. For a moment there the world went silent.

What did he mean by that? Johnny meant a lot. Should I tell him? C'mon Dal. Man up, wise up, listen to yourself. You're Dallas Winston. "Yeah, Tim he means a lot to me," I said with a tough voice. Tim looked like he wanted to punch me. "I asked how much..." he hissed. I was confused. Should I be confused? "Uh..." I stupidly said. "Uh, I don't know. A lot, he meant a lot to me. That's why-" Yeah, I know that was a stupid thing to say. "That's why..." I continued yet again he interrupted me. "That's why you were gonna kill yourself," Tim said loudly as he step into the kitchen. He was making himself coffee, I could tell. He must've been tired and frustrated. "In other words, commiting suicide," he yelled across the room. Seriously, I was gonna commit suicide? Ugh how dumb! But... but Johnny. I was thinking about the good and bad times I had with Johnny and this day was probably my worst. Too busy remebering Johnny, I didn't notice was in front of me. He was also pointing a gun at me. I was scared now. I don't wanna get shot! "I-Is that thing loaded?" I asked, shaking on the couch, hopefully that wasn't noticable. "You bet your a** it's loaded, but yours ain't," he stated as he pulled the trigger. He was right, mines ain't loaded. No... "Why you so scared? Ain't this what you wanted? Well now you can go see Johnny," Tim laughed. _Now I can go see Johnny?_


	2. Why Tim Why Tim Shepard

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:** Why Tim? Why Tim Shepard?

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I was scared. I felt like running towards the door. Tim Shepard wasn't really gonna kill me right? No, he wouldn't. As I pushed the gun away slowly from my face I told Tim, "Tim, I wasn't gonna- well I was but I wasn't thinking clearly. Man Johnny has always been there and-" I rubbed my eye and realized that I was crying. Oh_ my god! Am I crying? I can't be! _"Johnny has-" Tim put his fist on my lap. "Dal? Why are you crying?" he asked slowly. "You know what? Just go. I ain't about to see you cry, you little girl." _What? Little girl? _"I'm no little girl!" I shouted as I stood up firmly. Right out of the blue Tim lift his strong arm and pimp slapped me of my face. My right cheek burned! Again for some odd reason I felt like crying. _Don't cry. Don't cry! _'I ain't gonna cry. That's one thing I'd never do. I'm too wise for that!" Tim shoved me back and said, "I don't care if you are or aren't gonna cry, I want you out of my house!" 'Why?" I shouted like a teenage girl. _How embarrassing. _Tim didn't say a word he just gave me a mean glare. For a minute there I thought his stare scared me. "I… I don't know. Fine stay. I don't give a shit. Just don't bother me none, got it?'

"Are you mad cause I didn't say hi to you at the rumble? We won! Get over it!" I said loudly.

He stayed silent. I could tell he held in his anger. What bothered me the most is why the damn hell he was pissed at me. "Look", I began , "fine I'll go if that's what you want." I slowly got up and made my way to the door when suddenly I felt a tight grip on my shoulders and swung me around then kissed me. Tim kissed me! I was shocked! I was scared! I couldn't say anything cause of the fact he had his lip's pressured on mine. I could've pushed him away but shockingly I didn't want to. I liked it and I know I did. To Tim's surprise I kissed back. I don't know why but I just did. I saw his eyes wide with shock but when I slipped my tongue into his mouth he slowly closed his eyes and began kissing me again. _What on earth am I doing? _I don't know I don't really care. Before I knew it I was lifted up off my feet. Tim carried me up the stairs and into his room. He firmly dropped me on the bed and I could tell he really wanted some….

Then he unzipped my jeans. I wanted to stop him but didn't. Then words I never thought I'd say to Tim came out of my mouth. "I will take care of that. You just take off your own clothes," I whispered. I could see he was a little bit frighten by what I said but then a smirk curved on his face and he seemed as if he was ready. I took off my shirt but kept my jeans on. "Tsk tsk," he said as he crawled on me and took them off. I wasn't officially naked and thank god I wasn't. I wasn't prepared. Hell, I've done it with Sylvia but never with a guy and not along Tim for that matter. He got his cover and put it over me as he slowly naked me up. My heart beat became fast. I felt like stopping right here and right now but I couldn't. Like a little bitch I wanted to give Tim what he wanted. And sadly, I did. He had me pin down, biting my neck. I yelped and he laughed. _The bastard. _I didn't feel like myself. I felt like a punk, a bitch, a…. well, as much as I hate to say this I felt like a girl. I've seen the way Tim does girls. He gives it to them all the way. The next morning he leaves them looking a mess. But I was sure he wouldn't leave me like that. I was too tuff for that. Although that was kinda hard for me to say as I was about to get done in the ass. He aggressively yet slowly took off my jeans. "Wait Tim-" I squealed. _Ugh. _"Hush up Dal. I need this and not from some stinky ol' broad. I need it from you," Tim Stuttered. That was the FIRST time I ever heard Tim stutter.

I lay my face on his pillows and blankets, and I softly take a deep breath because I know what's coming. He chuckles. He was probably making fun of my ass, my tight ass. My face turned red and warm. His hands slowly slid to my ass, and he was gentle touch felt kind of awkward, but satisfying.

Tim tried to look into my eyes , I don't know why but I felt nervous. I knew it was gonna hurt but the question was how bad was it gonna hurt? _Am I ready fro this_? I closed my mouth shut and held on to his pillow tightly. I knew it was coming. _Am I ready_?

I took a deep breath in and then out. I knew what was going to happen next. Any second…. _Am I ready? No the hell I'm not. I _struggled a little and half way turned. "Tim, I don't think I'm ready," I said trying to sound cool but failed. "Oh no," Tim sighed. "No, no, no, no, no. You are," he licked his lips ," cause I am too. Dal, please don't spoil it." "But-" I squealed once more. He frowned and he began to look irritated and angry. _Should I just shut up? _ I stayed quiet, waiting for him to say something. Nothing. He closed his eyes with frustration. "Look Dallas…." he said slowly but angrily, " if you wanna go… then go. Don't waste my time." I turned back and looked at the pillow as I shutted my eyes tightly. I stayed put. I guess he knew what that meant so he got comfortable again. _Lord, please don't let it hurt that bad_. Surprisingly, he took his rough finger and quickly shoved it in my ass, getting me ready for something bigger I believed. He turned his finger, shoved it around, moved it back and forth, getting my ass wide enough for his bigger thing to enter.

After a couple of painful minutes he took his finger out and then warned me for what was about to go inside. I grip on the pillow ...even tighter and covered my mouth with his blanket_. Be strong. You've taken bullets before. This can be any worse. Right_? The Tim broke into my thoughts by thrusting into my tight, willing ass over and over. Boy did it hurt. I yelped like a little puppy and he silently laughed his ass off. Oh, but he did enjoy it. He was moaning aggressively and with relief. I arched up and moaned breathlessly as he gripped me gently and tugged in deeper a few times. I was cussing in between moans of pleasure. I could feel his cum.

After enjoying himself he roughly turned me around. "Liked?" he asked… kinda shyly. "It hurt…. But I liked it," I answered smiling at him.

I almost felt like I loved him… the way I was smiling at him. Like those princess movies; Snow White and Sleeping Beauty. When that gushy prince kisses them so they can wake up and they do, blinking all girly and smiling like you just woke up to a dream come true. Well believe it or not but that's how I felt and looked.

"We're not finished are we?" he asked and I shook my head. I curled up and made my way to his cock. I licked the tip and he moaned gently. "Oh Dallas," he'd say. I licked from bottom to top, still teasing. I slowly deep-throated his erection and let go at the same speed.

I could tell he couldn't handle it anymore. He got a hold of my brown hair and shoved his hard cock into my mouth. I moaned but didn't object. I simply sucked slowly

"Oh fuck, Dally!" He bit his lip and tightened my grip as I sucked. I began too suck harder and faster, gripping on his balls with my free hand, making him come closer and release. He gave a low growl and thrusted his crouch into my wet mouth once more.

He then removed himself and I licked him clean.

"Dallas!" He cried out between moans, a slightly higher pitch though.

"Dallas!" God did I like my name coming out his mouth.

"Dallas!" Damn how beautiful my name sounded as he said it.

Then he pushed me on my back and crawled on top of me.

He tasted my pale skin as he kissed down my body before placing a kiss on the tip of my hard dick. He put his hand around my cock and started forcing his hand up and down. My thin legs went dead at the sudden, relaxing feeling. I started panting, as he moved his hand up and down faster. Once he noticed my dick was starting to cum and rise up on its own, he stopped and his slimy mouth covered the top and started sucking it. I started moaning like hell.

After a little while of placing spit all over my cock, he moved himself upward and soon he was directly on top of me. He was so close to my blushed up face that our noses were touching. Not knowing what to do, I began playing with his cock. I startled him but then he laughed with pleasure. I made myself down then moved my tongue down to his erected dick. My arm just magically grabbed onto his dick, and I started rubbing. Tim started to get warm, and warm, and even warmer. I could feel his heat, rising off him and onto me. I didn't know how long to keep my hand on his dick, so I did the only thing to do in this situation, continued to rub.

Once my hand got tired I decided to turn over. I decided it was my turn. Dallas Winston's turn. I grabbed on his shoulders and rolled over. I was on top, I, Dallas, was in charge. I kissed him on the nose, in order to let him know I wasn't gonna hurt him. My mouth made its way from his lips to his ear. I didn't know if this worked on him, but it always worked on me. Expect every time the girls did it I found a way to get out of it. I wondered if Tim would as I did it. My tongue licked his ear, all around the back, and then down on the spot where his piercing should be, and started sucking. I moved myself down. My tongue comes out of my dry mouth and onto his hard nipples.

Then, like me, he sat up. He grabbed my face and kissed my full warm lips. I can feel myself in his mouth. Breathing heavily, calming down from the wild and crazy feeling he caused.

I moved my head to the side, letting him kiss her chin down to my neck. He aggressively kissed my neck, ready to leave a mark. He sucked on my skin, and bit it gently. I moaned and called out his name in low, sexy grunts. He stopped and smiled as he looked at the mark he left on me. I can tell he admired it. Like it was some kind of symbol that I was his property. _Yeah right, I'm Dallas WINSTON. I belong to nobody._

Finally it was time to take things a little easy.

He began feeling me and absorbed me as I wiggled in pleasure under him as he drifted slowly. Now things were starting to get rough again. I guess he couldn't stay calm no more than 2 minutes. Gasping as the heat surrounded us, muscles gripping on me tightly. After minutes of playing hard and dirty we couldn't continue anymore. We finally decided to fall asleep. I quietly snuggled up to his chest. And there we lay breathing heavily and satisfied with the room smelling like sweat and cum.

We lay talking about how crazy we are. Never thought either one of us would ever do this … while being sober. As we cuddled and laugh I froze.

I couldn't believe what I saw. "Tim," I whispered and he turned to see what had startled me.

"What the-" Curly Shepard, Tim's younger brother, hissed as he stood in front of the door., shocked as hell. As Curly rushed out Tim quickly put on his jeans and ran after him.

I sat there looking dumb and wondered _Why Tim? Why Tim Shepard?_

Sorry! took so long it's just school but since the summer is arriving I will upload faster! ;D


	3. Without A Doubt

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:** Without a Doubt

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I didn't know what else to do. I felt that I was done for sure, now that Curly knew. Maybe Tim would scare him into keeping his mouth shut. Either way that didn't change the fact that I just did the do with the reckless hoodlum Tim Shepard. _Uck_! Even thinking about his name made me feel chills run up my spine. What I just did made me feel disgusting. I couldn't get the sight, THE FEELING out of my head. I knew I had to get out of here. Quick!

I quickly put on my jeans and shoes. I couldn't find my shirt… _shit_! Fuck it, I had to get out. I slowly stepped out making sure Tim or Curly weren't around. I didn't think they would be though. The place was quiet. Finally I made my way down stairs and saw the Shepard's front door wide open. Once I left I made sure I closed his door…. _It's the least I could do_.

I walked down the street hoping I wouldn't bump into any of the Shepard's. _Where to go? Bucks? Curtis'? …No, not Bucks. He'll know somethings up. I'll go to The Curtis' place. And get on head kicked in by Darry. _Yeah, I had forgotten that I left Pony at the hospital.

….

I had forgotten Johnny died. Damn, just yesterday Johnnycake died. I stopped. _Johnny's dead… Yeah, I rather head for Buck's. _Turning around I began making my way to Buck's. I could really use some shots. Forget about what happened last night. Forget about everything that happened last night. Forget about Johnny, forget about Tim. Definitely forget about Tim and … what we did last night.

I faced the front of Buck's bar, debating whether I should go in or not and finally Ic did. I knocked and it took him some time to answer.

"What took?" I asked nervously. _C'mon Dal bring yourself together. "_I had a girl up stairs. You ok?" he asked trying to look me in the face but I kept turning away. "Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I answered as I sat down on his couch. I remembered that last thing I did on this couch. I made out with a broad. She was the best broad I had ever laid eyes on. She had the reddest lips and longest eyelashes and the rosiest cheeks, all cause of her makeup of course. And not to mention the sexiest body with large breast. But the thought of her crossing my mind made me sick and I didn't know why. "You look pretty tense," Buck began. "I'm not. Just tired, been up all night," I said with a smile. I looked up stairs and thought of something quick to say to change the subject. "Ain't it too early to be slamming a girl?" Buck looked at me awkwardly and after a while said, "naw, I wasn't doing her. She stayed over from last night. Heard you beat the soc." I looked at him and at that moment I felt like leaving the place. I didn't wanna be here. I didn't feel safe here. I don't think I felt safe anywhere. And what bothered me the most was the thought of Tim in my head_. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT! _

"I gotta go man. I just remembered I had something to do," I lied as I got up and walked to the door. "Wait! Wait! Man, what's wrong with you?" Buck asked astounded. "N-nothing man. I just really need to go somewhere," I stuttered quickly. _Dal, come on calm down you're making everything obivious. _"To do what?" "Something. I can't tell, at least not right now." "What you hidin' Dally?" "God! Nothing! What makes you think I'm hiding something? I just really need to head there now." "Where to, exactly?" "This place- uh, uh-" "Dallas? Where to?" "The name…. doesn't really come in mind." Because all I can see that minute was Tim… _Tim_. _Mother Fucker! Get outta my head! _"Maybe I can drive you there." "I don't-" "Just tell me the place." "The place?" "At least think about it. Where are you headed?" "Somewhere!" "Where though?" "I can't tell you." "Man Dal, quit being so complicated. Just tell me where you gotta-" "I DON"T KNOW!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I yelled so loudly I heard the girl upstairs wake up. Then like a big sissy I fell on my knees still holding the door knob. I could feel buck staring at me like I was a nut. He stood in front of me as I began weeping. _Oh god really Dal. You're gonna start balling infront of Buck? _I wiped my eyes and softly said I had to go. Footsteps approached. "Dallas, I can't let you go out there like that. Let me take you upstairs." Without any permission he picked me up and I remembered this was sort of the way tim picked me up. Before entering the room he put me down on the floor. He went in his room and I heard him telling the chick that she had to get out. I guess he didn't want her to see me like this. She walked out and didn't even see me. Luckily. Buck lift me up again and tossed me his bed. Then he sat down beside me. "You know, I really wanna ask you what's up…. But I'm not. I figure you wouldn't tell me anyhow." He walked to the door and stopped. "If you need anything just call." Finally he walked out. I didn't want him to be around especially not the way he saw me. _Damn, Dal you're such a dumbass._ I laid there wondering why I cried and I couldn't find any reason.

I woke up. It had been at least an hour or two. When I sat up I saw Buck standing infront of the bed, which scared the shit out of me.

'Buck?"

He cocked his eyebrow and stayed quiet.

"What?" I asked. "N-nothing. Just came up to check on you."

From the look of his face he seemed more shocked than what I was, but why? "Why you looking at me like that?" He flinched and stepped out the room and mumbled, "it's just my face." "Need anything?" he hollered from down stairs. I stared around the room and kept wondering why he was looking at me like that. "No!" I hollered back as I walked down stairs. He was watching TV and drinking beer. Reminded me of Two-bit. "Hey, thanks for letting me rest," I said sitting down easily. He looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Sleep good?" he asked looking back at the TV. I nodded. "Had any good dreams?" "I don't dream," I said stubbornly. "Everyone dreams. Beer?" he said handing me a bottle of ice cold beer. "No thanks. Well I never do remember any of my dreams." "Wonder why you didn't remember this one," he said taking a slip. I said nothing. "Do you always talk in your sleep?" _Oh shit... What was I dreaming? _ I thought for a minute on what I was dreaming about.

_I lay in bed breathing heavily. Tim stroked my head and asked me if I had had enough. With a tired tone I responded no._

_Oh shit… _My face became pale and I sat frozen on the couch. After a minute of silence I said, "No. How would I know I'm asleep. But sometimes I do wake up during a dream cause half the time I dream the stupidest shit." "Hmm," he said then took another long sip. "Buck thanks for letting me rest but it's time for me to go. Gotta go see my pals. Have a talk, I don't know. Maybe about Johnny." At the end of my sentence I chocked. _Johnny…._ "What about the little runt," Buck said eyeing me up and down. I felt uncomfortable. "He … He died," I whispered. Buck looked at me with wide eyes. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know." "It's alright," I croaked as I walked toward the door. When I walked out Buck called for me. "Yeah?" I asked sticking my head in the door. "I'm having a party tonight. You comin' right." I gave a fake smile and said sure. I closed the door behind me and went to the telephone booth. I needed someone to talk to. The gang of course. But I needed someone I could trust in not telling and Johnny wasn't around no more. I called up the Curtis' house. "Hey, Darry it's me Dallas. Look man this is really important. Can you come pick me up? …. Thanks. I'll meet you at the park." I hung up and slowly walked to the park hoping I wouldn't see Tim Shepard around. Still, even if I didn't want to see him I wanted to. I guess I was just embarrassed. I couldn't get him out of my mind, not even in my dreams. And at that moment I knew,without a doubt, I liked Tim.


	4. You'll be just fine without Johnny

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:**

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I was almost getting tired of waiting. Soon I saw Darry's truck coming up. He stopped the truck and said, "hop in." I didn't want to hop in. I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to get away. I thought I might be over reacting but it's not every day I lay with a hood. I didn't move. I just stood there like a dumb idiot staring at Darry in the eyes.

"You getting in your not Dal?" he asked impatiently. "O-Oh yah," I said. _Man Dal this ain't like you. _I never felt stupider in my entire life. I felt like … dumb shit. "Dal, you don't look too good," Darry said concerned as he began driving. Darry didn't look too good either. "I don't feel too good," I mumbled. I could tell he was looking at me from the corner of my eye. One thing I knew was that Darry wasn't stupid and he could tell something was bothering the hell outta me. And something was bothering the hell outta me. It was Tim…

"Look Dal I know you ain't good with talking about personal problems and all but if something's beating you you can tell me." I looked at him. "I bet it's that. What'd you do?" "What?" I asked stupidly. "You look awful." "Yeah?" "I'm sorry Dal." _Sorry about what? _"About?" I asked blankly. He cleared his throat. "I'm damned about too Dal but there ain't nothing we can do. Just forget, I guess." "What?" I asked angrily. I mean the guy wasn't making any since. "Johnny," he murmured. Again I sat frozen. I can't believe for a minute I forgot all about Johnny and that he's out of my life forever. I forgot he was dead. And all because of Tim.

Then he came back in mind. I gagged.

"Well, we can stop talking about it if it's bothering you," he insisted. "Yah," I said ashamed. I was ashamed. Ashamed I forgot all about Johnny. _How could I?_ The bad thing about it was that I couldn't forget about Tim. And worst, I hoped he was thinking of me as crazy as I was thinking of him. "Look, I'm sorry I left Pony at the hospital alone," I said after minutes of silence. He looked at me. "What's a matter?" He said quietly. I couldn't talk. No, I could have told him, I just didn't feel like it. I didn't even feel like being in this truck. I just wanted to be on a bed. With no one around. No one in the house. Just sleep… all alone. And wake up a day later. Going to Buck's was a mistake. Really was.

"Boy, Dallly. You really don't look good." I stared out the window. "I mean you look like shit," he said as he cleared his throat. Maybe he felt the awkwardness that I did. "I'm fine. Man," I said rubbing the back of my neck, "I'm just really tired. I need some sleep." "Well I don't see why you can't crash over at our house for as long as you want." "Thanks." I felt like sleeping for hours and forgetting everything but part of me didn't want to forget. Part of me wanted to finish what Tim started. I know it sounds stupid but it's a messed up feeling I can't help. And right when I started to close my eyes and fall asleep I saw him.

Tim. He was walking with the Shepard gang. Curly was three feet behind all of them. Tim kept walking flawlessly not even looking at Darry's old truck coming up. He looked straight forward as he explained something important to his gang. I could tell because he had that informative-explaining face. It was almost as if he didn't remember what we did. I was beginning to feel upset. Then Curly made eye contact with me just as the truck made its way by the Shepard gang. It was an ugly glare. Well I got news for the kid. I'm not afraid of him. I could kick that guy's ass if I felt like it. I mean Curly Shepard was strong. Almost as strong as Tim just not smart. Boy, Curly was one slick son of a gun but he just couldn't be clever like his older brother. No one was like Tim. I shook my head. _Stop thinking about Tim! _If I keep dazing off and thinking about Tim I know for sure Darry would tell something's up. That guy ain't stupid for nothing. I feel kinda bad that Pony has trouble lying to him. It's like he can see through your lies. Creepy. "That kid. I hate the fact that Pony hangs out with him. Nothing wrong about Tim or his brother. I'm just saying I don't want Curly being an influence to Pony. Then he's gonna become a hood and began trashing people's property and he's gonna start smoking even more. The kid smokes enough for Christ sake!" Darry said. "You know become someone like you." I stayed quiet. "No offense Dal," he said shamefully. "None taken," I laughed. "I'm happy with the way I am. I'm tough." Darry chuckled. "And besides I doubt Pony would ever turn like that. The guy's too much of a goodie-goodie. And too smart for that matter." Darry looked at me with shocked eyes. "Did you just compliment Pony?" _I did, didn't I._ "Yeah, I mean the kid is smart. He's good." I laughed at myself. "Haha, if only Pony were here to hear this."

Finally we made it to his house. I was ready to hit the hay. When I stepped inside I heard Two-bit scream ,"there he is!" Steve got up and came up to me. "Hey man, where the hell have you been?" "I've been out," I said quietly. Two-bit and Steve gave me an awkward glare. "You ok?" they both asked me. "Everyone's been asking him that," Darry said shutting his eyes as he laid on the couch. "Man, I need some sleep," he said tiredly. "Yeah," I said, "what time is it? Why aren't any of you sleeping?" I asked. "It's 3:30-ish. After what happened tonight none of us can sleep." Sodapop said. Steve looked at me sadly. "Pony told us." "Told you?" I asked confused. "Johnny. Johnny passed away," Two-bit said eyeing me suspiciously_. Great all I needed was for the gang's goofball to be suspicious about me._ "Oh… Yeah," I said pretty carelessly. _How dumb. _"Well, I'm really tired so if you don't mind I'm gonna go to bed." I walked toward the couch and felt everyone looking at me shocked. I laid my tired body on the couch still thinking about Tim. As bad as I wanted to I couldn't go to sleep. I kept thinking about Tim and why the stupid idea that I liked him came in mind. I laid wondering what was he doing right now. I laid wondering if he was thinking about me. And I hate to admit but it was killing desperately.

After a few minutes Darry went to bed. He told Soda if he wasn't going to sleep to make sure he wakes up early enough to go to work. But when he left Soda whispered to Two-bit that he wasn't planning on going to work tomorrow. He said 'too much shit was going on.' Then Pony slowly walked away and into his room. He almost seemed dead. He shut the door quietly and I knew something was wrong with him. But why shouldn't there be. I mean he's been through a lot of shit these past few days and I should know. He and Johnny brought me into this mess. I didn't mind at all. I didn't expected it but I didn't mind. For a minute I tried to push Tim out of my mind and tried to think of Johnny. Sadly, I failed and I hated myself for that. It was only Two-bit, Steve, and Sodapop up discussing about Johnny in the kitchen. I wasn't asleep. I only pretended and I didn't intend to fall asleep when I heard Two-bit talking about me. He was telling the boys that I wasn't being myself and he wasn't wrong about that. But, I still hated the fact that they were having a conversation about me. It's not like I was gonna sit up and tell them that I could hear them. I would oblivious mess up whatever topic they're gonna bring up about me. "Was it just me or did he not seem to care about Johnny," Two-bit asked quietly. Not quiet enough. "Na, I kinda sense that too," Sodapop agreed. "I thought Johnny was everything to Dal." "Shoot, so did I," Two-bit said. "Come on guys," Steve said, "I'm sure he's hurt about it and just doesn't want to talk about it. Johnny met the world to him and he just doesn't want it to be brought up." I smiled. Good ol' Steve. "Yah, I would feel the same way if it were you," Soda said. I assumed he was talking to Steve. That was his best friend of course. Then I heard smacking noises. _What?_ "Geez, guys don't do that in front of me..." Two-bit whined. "It makes me feel lonely." They all laughed silently. It almost sounded like they were kissing but I could be wrong. _Soda kissing Steve? Impossible. _But then again it was impossible for me to have kissed Tim. Tim Shepard crawled into my mind once more and with smile I fell asleep.

I woke up to the strict sound of Darry's voice. He was talking to Pony and Soda. About what? I could hardly care. Then I heard him say ,"and if anyone has the time. Check up on Dal. Something ain't right with him.

One he stepped out the house I waited at least ten minutes before "waking up". "Hey," I greeted everyone as I stretched out of bed. "I'm starving," Two-bit said, "anyone wanna go out and eat?" "I sure do. Pony?" Soda asked. "Yah, I'd like to get out." I stayed as they walked out the house. Then Pony popped his head back in. "Ain't you coming Dallas?" I was trying to find the words to say. "Um, na. I'll just stay." He looked at me then Two-bit came in as well. "Naaaaa, "he grinned. "Come Dal, you weirdo you." _Weirdo?_ I was slightly offended. No one jokes around with me like that and I didn't like it. But I didn't comment or argue. I couldn't I was too tired at the moment. Probably made it even more obliviously that something was wrong with me. "How long have I been out?" I asked tiredly. Two-bit looked at me awkwardly. "Man, something ain't right with you." I looked like shit. I felt sad and not to mention I was in pain. I didn't want to go out. I didn't even want to step out anywhere. I just wanted to stay here, I was too afraid to go out. I didn't want to see Tim. But, honestly why should I be scared? I'm Dallas Winston. And Dallas Winston ain't scared of nothing. _Am I right?_ I gave my usual grin and said, "Yah, let's get the hell out of here." Pony and Two-bit smiled at me and I could tell that Pony was sort of happy to see me happy. I guessed- I could be wrong, again- but I guessed if I had some hope even though Johnny was gone, he'd still have some hope. I took a step forward and joined the gang for some breakfast. Some nice delicious breakfast. And what better way than to go out with my best buddies. I had to forget Tim Shepard some way. I put my arm around Pony and gave him a thankful smile. He gave me the brightest smile I've seen him have lately. That sort of made me glad.

"Don't worry," I whispered to him, "we'll be okay without Johnny. I'll make sure of that." And for the first time EVER, what shocked the hell out of me and made me gasped lightly, Ponyboy had hugged me. An embracing horrifying hug with warmth. It took me while- and this shocked me too- but I, Dallas Winston, hugged him back. I put my arms around him and whispered…

"You'll be just fine without Johnny… I promise."


	5. Johnny?

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter: **Johnny?

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

We arrived at a Dinner. Soda got up said he'll go order. "What do ya'll want?" "Whatever man. I don't care," I said. "Me either," Two-bit and Steve said at the same time. "I don't care. I'm not really hungry anyways," Pony said. Soda smiled and walked away. I looked at Pony who was playing with a napkin. I cleared my throat and turned to Steve with struggling smile. "So, you and Eve, how've you been?" Steve gave me with an 'oh?' expression. "Uh," he said beating his chest then coughed. "They broke up," Two-bit laughed. "Broke up! When?" I asked loudly. When Pony and- Johnny ran away. Sometime around there," Steve answered. I turned to Pony with a stupid expression. "Did you know?" Pony smiled. "Soda told me everything yesterday in the morning. You were at the hospital." I blinked constantly. _Soda knows. Of course. _"Uh…" They all looked at me. I thought I should ask a question that was bothering me before Soda comes. "Awww, that's too bad," I said carelessly with a grin. "Hell, we always break up anyways," Steve said looking at Soda. "When is he gonna hurry up," he murmured. "Yah, but this time he says it's official," Two-bit said smacking Steve on the back of the head. "It is," Steve said punching Two-bit on his jaw. "I thought you'd last like Soda and Sandy," I said. "Oh yah, they're done too." _Ah ha! _"What? Why?" I asked with no shock. Pony looked at me. "Long story short, she cheated on him," Two-bit whispered placing his hand on his left cheek.

"Shoot, how long does it take?" Steve complained when Soda came back. "Shoot, ya'll made it hard on me with not telling me what ya'll want," Soda complained. I tilted my head and smiled as I stared at the two 'best friends' arguing. "It ain't that hard Soda. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. See how fast that was? Jesus." Soda frowned angrily. "I got us all something different. Next time why don't you go order." Steve looked at Two-bit. "Why don't I order next time, he says," then he looked back at Soda, "so next time you're gonna take your time to order too?" And before Soda opened his mouth and said something Pony said, "thanks for ordering Soda." Soda smiled. "No problem," he said sitting down next to Steve.

I started checking out the waitress who was going around serving people but I couldn't find, not one thing on her that I liked. "She's good," Two-bit said drinking some beer he had brought from Pony's house. "Eh," I commented. I looked out the window cause I could feel them all eye-balling me.

_Oh shit! _I froze and my eyes widen. I couldn't feel my body and I couldn't move. I felt the insides of my stomach twist and turn.

"Woah! Dal, you look like you've seen a ghost," Two-bit said. "Yah, you look paler then Pony," Steve said. I saw Tim and his gang just outside the dinner. For sure they were coming in. _God, there's nowhere to go. He'll see me. Oh God! _"Dally?" Pony said waving his hand over my face. "Huh? Oh, oh. No, I'm just hungry. When is that dumb waitress gonna hurry up!" I lied. "Thanks," Soda said to the waitress who served our food and gave me an ugly glare before she walked away. Two-bit simply laughed. Then to make my stomach ache feel worst I heard the door bell jingle. I gulped and I felt like going. But I couldn't. Besides even if I did he'll still see me.

"Well, let's get eatin' and then get the hell outta here," I said then began stuffing my face. "You okay?" Soda asked looking worried. "I'm fine. Like I said just hungry," I said with my mouth full. Two-bit shouted, "Shepard?" and I felt shitting on myself. _No, don't bring him over here! _"Hey," Pony said as Curly came toward us. "I thought you were in the reformatory. At least that's what Tim said." Curly blew smoke out of his mouth and said, "my buddies came to bail me out last night. Since Tim was too be busy. Boy, was he shocked when I came home." I coughed and pushed my plate away. "Guys I'm done. Let's go now." Curly greeted me then gave me an intimidating look.

"Look, you piece of rat shit," Pony looked at me in shock, "you can stop looking at me like that before I put my fist up your ass." Curly laughed and looked at Pony and mumbled, "did you hear him?" Pony turned to me, "Dal? What's wrong with you?" I stared at Pony then back at Curly who was giving me an intimidating smile. Then I looked at Two-bit, Steve, and Sodapop whom all looked shocked. "I-I" I stuttered. "I shouldn't be here. I gotta go meet up with someone."

I stood up angrily and there he stood in front of me, blocking my way- Tim. "Where do you gotta go?" he asked ever so demanding. Almost as if I was his prisoner and couldn't go anywhere without his permission. He stood in front of me with his head tilted and – like his younger brother- an intimidating grin. _The Asshole!_ And, me, I stood looking up at him like – words can't even describe the look I had. "I- am- am going out to …" _Damn what should I say? Bucks?_ …

"Bucks'," I said speechless.

"Sure you are," Tim said looking at Curly.

I turned around and looked at Curly who was about to laugh his ass off, which pissed me off as fuck. "Fuck you," I mouthed as I looked back at Tim. I had to admit that I was a little hurt that he would treat me like this after what we did. He gave me an ugly smile to show me how pathetic I looked.

_That hit me._

He chuckled. "Correction, fuck you," he said.

_That hurt me_.

I gave a fake grin of anger and cool. But I honestly wanted to tear up. "Yah?"

"Yah," then he whispered, "oh and guess what. I already did."

_That stabbed me_.

I slowly walked around him, hurt, but I wasn't gonna cry. And I heard him chuckle softly.

_That cracked me,_

He turned around and said in a serious-console tone, "Dal."

_That crushed me._

"You were just the bitch, remember?"

_That killed me. _

Then I walked out as soon as possible before I started balling in front of my buddies and the Shepard gang. I heard the door open and I started walking faster.

"Dal!" my friends called. "DAL!" _Don't stop_. "Dally!" _Keep going_. "DALLY!" _Just keep walking_! "Dallas!" _Get away from them!_ "DALLAS!" I started running. I heard their footsteps coming closer so ran faster. Ran. Ran. Ran till' I couldn't hear them calling my name anymore. Finally after forever I made it to the hospital. And then I made my way to Johnny's room. I stood outside the door then after a long minute, or two, I took a step in.

I closed the door behind me, I didn't care if a doctor saw or not, and leaned back against it breathing heavily as I looked at Johnny. I shivered as the words _you were just the_ _bitch_ echoed inside my mind. Heavy tears threatened to leak from my eyes and I blinked them away furiously. I would not cry over Tim Shepard like a girl in front of my dead best friend. Wiping my eyes furiously I made my way to Johnny. I wrapped my arms around myself and sat down beside Johnny. There was no one in the room (not like when Buck was in front of me that time) so why should I hold it in.

_If I couldn't anymore._

With no one around to act tough for, I collapsed on the hospital floor, strong, heavy sobs finally made their way out of my eyes. I wasn't crying like I did when I was with Buck. This time it was worst so much worst. I could feel my heart beating fast and my eyes hurt from all the tears that were pouring out my body. Screaming at me to stop crying. My lungs closed because at some points I held in too much breath before letting heavier tears out. Dreadful tears dripped from my face and onto the floor. I laid against the bed and tucked my head in my knees and put my arms around my legs tightly as I began crying harder. Big deep tears rolled down my cheeks and my legs began shaking. The pain was killing me and I began to choke on my own tears and gagged. I never knew that crying could hurt so much. I almost wanted to hurl. Hurl my insides out. Tim… Tim… Tim… was the only thing on my mind at the moment as I dropped my weak shaking body on the floor and cried even harder. _Why? _I punched the floor and asked myself why did I have to fall for Shepard and why did he have to break my heart. _Why? _"Why-y-y-y?" I sobbed. As I felt heavier tears springing up my eyes I heard someone groaning.

Shocked, I quickly wiggled up to my feet with a red face full of burning tears.

Johnny laid still with his mouth have way opened. My eyes widen with fear. "D-Dally… is that yo..u?"

_Johnny?_

DUN DUN DUN OMG Johnny's back! lol hope you guys like this chap. and plz review it I like to know your opinions :)


	6. Why me? Why now?

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:** Why me? Why now?

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I was shocked. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. Johnny's suppose to be dead. So why did he lay before me trying to put words together. Suddenly I moved closer to him. "Johnny?" He slowly and I mean slowly moved his head and half way opened up his eyes. "Dal?" he said quietly with a croak in his voice. "Buddy? What- I don't understand. Just last night you were- you passed out cold and di-" I stopped when I saw him smile. "I'm sorry," he whispered. And all of a sudden I started to cry but not tears of sadness. They were tears of happiness. Of joy. _Johnny's back. God Johnny's back! _To my surprise I began thanking God himself as I squeezed Johnny's hand tightly.

"O-ow! Dal th-at hurts…" I let go and laughed softly. "I'm sorry buddy." _I'm sorry. _And for the first time in my life I felt grateful and thankful. I had a huge smile and held on to Johnny almost close enough to hug him.

_Wait till' I tell the boys._

_..._

Days made their way into weeks and weeks made their way into months. It had been three months since Johnny was back in our lives. _Since I saw Tim… _But slowly and shortly I was beginning to feel better and forgetting about him. Johnny was on a wheel chair since but we didn't really mind as long as he was back. We didn't get out much; we just stayed with Johnny in the Curtis' house since I refused to let him go home. The doctor had told Darry that in two months or so he'll probably be able to get off the wheel chair and walk; possibly he said. So every day we took him for a walk around the block just until he collapsed to the ground. It was like teaching a baby to walk and day by day he got the hang of it. I was proud of him and proud of myself. I was determined to get Johnny back on his feet and I wouldn't quit till' he could do it properly. The gang seemed to notice too.

I sat beside Johnny who was sitting on the couch reading a book. "I didn't know you liked to read," I said. Johnny smiled and I felt warm inside. "I don't- I didn't but I was close to dying that I decided I shouldn't take that risk. I should start doing things I never did. Besides Pony seems to enjoy it." _True_, I though. "Yeah, Pony," I said quietly. "He was almost torn without you. I guess cause you're the only one in the gang that holds us together." He continued to smile. "Yeah, I guess I do but if I hadn't made it you would hold the gang together right?" I thought back of when Johnny passed out on me and I was close throwing my life away. "I-" If it weren't for Tim I would've been dead. _Tim… _But here I was alive and holding Pony up when we thought Johnny was gone forever. "I would," I said giving him a beautiful smile. Not something you see on me every day. 'I thought so, Johnny said closing the book. He stared at me for awhile and observed me. "What?" I asked wondering why he was staring at me like that. "Pony told me what you did," he finally said. 'What I did? What did I do?" Johnny gave me an intimidating smile. But his smile was different. It was nothing like the Shepard's. His smile was warm and happy. "You," he said punching me softly on my cheek. 'Me what?" I asked impatiently. "You hugged him. You comfort him because you could tell he was devastated when I wasn't around." _That damn Pony. _"Johnny!" I snarled. "You did," he said as he looked away but continued to smile. "Pony wouldn't lie." "Yeah, I guess I did. I almost felt different," I admitted. Johnny looked at me again but this time I wasn't staring at him. I was staring at the floor. "You should've," he said, "not every day you hug someone Dal." I started thinking about Tim again. _Three months. Three. Stop! Stop thinking about him. He's not worth it. _"Dally?" Johnny said concerned. "Yeah?" I said still looking at the floor. "Can I ask you a question?" "You already did," I said laughing but I kept my eyes on the carpet. "Dal, I'm serious. I wanna ask you a question. A serious question. A question I've been dying to ask you since three months ago," he said in a serious tone. I guess he was serious and honestly, if it was a serious question, I was afraid of what he wanted to ask me. "Ok, what is it?" I asked not really wanting to hear his question. He bit his lip and looked at the floor. "Johnnycake," I said lightly. "Remember when you came to the hospital and you were happy to see me alive. _Oh no…_ 'Yeah, what about it?" I said scratching beside my ear. "Why," he stopped. _Please don't ask_. "Why were-" _Don't ask_. "Were you crying…?" I stayed silent then finally answered. "Yeah. Yeah I was." I knew he wouldn't buy it if I told him I wasn't. "Why?" he asked upset. _Tim…_ "B-Because I thought you were gone," I lied. Which made me feel bad. When I wasn't even crying for him. "Oh," he said quietly then Two-bit busted through the door with the rest of the gang carrying burgers, fries, and shakes. "You two hungry?" he shouted setting the food on the kitchen table.

I gently lifted Johnny up and sat him down on the kitchen chair.

"Dal, you don't look good again," Steve said.

Ugh, why is it that Steve's always noticing that something's wrong with me. "Uh, no. No, I'm just hungry."

"Well, there's a bunch of food here so eat up," Two-bit said. When I was about to eat I heard a car door slam and I jumped. "Woah! Are you ok?" Two-bit asked shockingly. "Getting to get a bit more like Johnny here, all jumpy and scared," he teased. Then looked at Johnny, who looked offended, and apologized quietly. I gave a fake laugh and told him to shut up.

Darry came in through the front door and headed towards the couch till he smelled the food. He pat Johnny on the head and said, "hey johnnycake. I'd pick you up and hug you but I'd break your bones. Did you walk?" "Not yet," Johnny answered smiling. "I'm starving!" "Wait-" Soda cried. "What are you doing out of work so early/" Darry looked at him concern so I asked too. "Yeah, what are you doing what of work so early?" Darry looked at me and the gang. "Geez, the boss let me go." "Why?" Soda asked. "Sodapop, I ask the questions around here, not you." Soda rolled his eye and everyone began eating their food.

I wasn't really hungry. I was playing with my food and I thought to myself if I don't start eating the gang is gonna bother me with questions like :why aren't you eating, aren't you hungry, what's wrong with you, are you sick. And I don't wanna hear that right now. Besides I'd only lie to them. What I wanted to do was sleep right now and I knew that was a bad thing cause every time I wanted to sleep was because I was thinking about Tim or upset because of Tim. I ate my food quickly and asked Darry if it was okay to kick it on his couch. "Uh, sure Dal- Hey Dal, are you okay?" _Ugh not that question!_ I looked at him with hidden anger. "Yeah, I'm fine." "No you're not," Two-bit said seriously. I looked at him and he cocked an eyebrow still keeping the same expression. I stood there looking at him and trying to hide the fact that I felt shocked. Then slowly he smiled and said ," I'm just joking with you man." I laughed then headed for the couch. I knew if I pretended to be asleep after a while they'd start talking about me so after ten minutes I began breathing hard as if I was sleeping. "Is he asleep?" Johnny asked. "What's wrong with him?" Lately he seems upset and-" "No one has any idea," Steve interrupted. "How long has he been like this?" Darry asked concerned. "Well, he's usually himself but once in a while he goes silent as if he's in deep thought," Pony said. "He hasn't told you anything?" Darry asked someone then Johnny said ,"no…" Almost made me feel bad. I decided to stop listening to their conversation and think about Tim. The thought of what we did three months ago made me smile. I miss him… I even pretended that right now he's thinking of me and wanting to reach out for me. He's not the same Tim Shepard I knew. Not the Tim Shepard I would fight without reason. Make time just to trash houses with him and his lousy gang. This Tim Shepard made me feel breathless. Almost as if I couldn't breathe without him. All I desperately want, all I need is the air I would kill to breathe. His air. And I know for a fact sooner or later I'll be surrounded in his air as he tightly holds on to me. I'll breathe again. I know I will.

Thinking about him, I was close to falling asleep till someone knocked on the door. "I'll get that," Darry said. I heard him open the door and heard _his _voice. "Hey Tim, come inside." I heard footsteps enter the gouse and my heart dropped. I had no choice but to keep pretending I was sleeping. "Take a seat on the couch. Careful Dally's sleeping on it." _Why me? Why now?_

…_..._

I wanna thank everyone for their comments I'm busy with school work and stuff but when I read reviews from people who are reading my story and want me to update I find time and I do it. Thanks again.


	7. They're just in love

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter: **They're just in love

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I tried my best to fall asleep but couldn't. I lay on the sofa uncomfortably as Tim's thy kept thumping my feet. "Uncomfortable?" I heard Darry ask. Almost stupid enough to answer Tim answered ,"just a little." "Why don't you just put his legs on your lap?" Two-bit joked. I felt Tim looking at me for a while and didn't know whether I wanted him to do it or not_. I shouldn't. "_Ey no. I don't think Dal would be too fond of that," Tim said. And the truth is I wouldn't. Because I'm Dallas and I don't need this scum doing me no favors. But for some reason I felt that I was lying to myself. And the truth was…. I was. I heard Ponyboy saying I could go sleep on his bed. "Well wake him up. I don't want to be the one waking him up," Two-bit joked again. "You know Dally," Steve said after Two-bit burped. "Yah," I heard Tim mumble. "I don't wanna disturb him," Darry said," he seemed awfully tired. Bummed, really." "Normally does," Johnny whispered with a sad tone. Again I felt Tim eyeing me which was making me more uncomfortable than the conversation had already made me. "So!' Darry shouted. "How bad is it?" "H-How bad is what?" tim asked distracted. And disgustingly I was hoping I was distracting him. "The roof," Darry answered questionably. "Does Dally have something on him?" Pony asked. _Damn that boy sure does catch a lot. So he was looking at me. _I smiled then snapped myself out of it. _It's Tim. The asshole. the no good_ - I couldn't continue. "Uhh- Na," Tim answered. "I was just thinking about how I havn't broken Dally's ribs in a while." he chuckled. _The asshole. What a pathetic lie- Shut up Dallas! _"But yah, the roof. Not too bad. Just the end of the corner is pretty busted." Tim finally spoke out. "Almost like a fat squirrel fell on it," Two-bit cracked up. "Shut up Two-bit," Soda said. I heard him snicker a little. "I got the money right here-" "No it's fine," Darry explained. "You need your money. Trust me i know. Besides it's just a small repair. Nothing too much I can't handle." "Well thanks- I-uh aprrecaite that," Tim said with a strong tone. _I missed his voice. Shut up Dallas! _It was quiet for a few seconds. "Well I better be on my way," Tim said. _Yah, that's right you better leave. _but part of me wanted him to stay. _Don't get up. Don't go_. "Hey when is Curly getting out of the reformatary?" I heard Pony ask. "You shouldn't hang out with someone like Curly, kid," Tim said not answering Pony's question. "I'll be seeing you around... Dallas." And he left... _Did he really know I was awake? Shit..._

"Is Dallas awake?" Steve asked. "No.. he isn't," Soda said concerned. "Dal?" Steve called out quietly. "Dally?" "HEY DALLAS!" Two-bit shouted. I didn't move. "Hey! Shut up! He's sleeping you fool," Steve whispered loudly. "What's been on Dallas' mind lately?" Johnny asked. With a sad tone once again. _Oh god can't you guys just pick a topic besides me! _"Do you guys think it has someting to do with Tim?" Pony asked. Well it was more liek a statement as if he was certain. _Damn! Think quick Dallas! _"I don't what your talking about Pony but I know one thing about Tim for sure," Darry said. _Oh no. Oh shit! "_He's right about you hanging out with his younger brother." I sighed with relief. "Pony, you're a smart boy and well... Curly just isn't a good influence on you." "C'mon Darry," I heard Soda say kindly. I assumed he softly punched him on the shoulder "cause I heard a thump and 'cause Soda always does that to Darry. "Well that's no excuse. I've hung around with Curly plenty of times and I'm still making good grades and attending achool. Look at Dal, he hangs around with Tim and Tim's no good either. A lot smarter than Curly but he's still a hood." Darry sighed. "Yeah? Well Dally's a hood too since I last checked and he isn't my kid brother either." "But he's family-like family... So he's like a brother, isn't he?" Pony asked silencing the room. I guess Darry didn't know how to answer that question 'cause to me it seemed as if it took him forever to answer. That or he was just stunned by what Pony said. "He is... and I wouldn't want him to get hurt." "Then that settles it," Soda cried quickly. "Pony can still be friends with miniature Tim. Lay off Darry. He'll be fine besides Curly's in the reformatory at the moment." Three more months and he's out.

I woke up I few minutes later. _How long was I asleep? _"Hey Dally. Tim was over," Steve told me. "Oh..." "You know Dal." I jumped. Darry came from behind and said, "You havn't been yourself lately." I scuffed. "What is that suppose to mean? I've been myself," I declared. "How have I've been different?" I asked after no one said anything. "Well..." Soda said in a singing voice. "Oh, shut up Soda." "You havn't been that... _mean_. You know?" Pony said. "No I don't know," I said in a mean voice. "You've been-Well you havn't been rude and tough Dallas." _What? I havn't been_- I chuckled slightly. "I havn't been what?" I asked Pony with furious eyes. "Whhhhy don't we just let it go?" Soda suggested. "No. I'm not dumb guys! I hear you talking about me! L- look I don't know what it is about me that's bothering you and I don't know either. All i know is I don't need you guys getting in my busy and personal life! I'm fine...!.. I think," I cried. The whole gang was looking at me as if I was insane. Soda came closer to me. "Woah, Dally, calm down. You're not bothering us. You know you just havn't been ... you've been really caught up in a lot and seem to have a lot on your mind. We're just concerned. Not in a bad way though we know nothing's wrong with you we're just making sure that you're - well that you're not going through anything serious." I looked at Soda for a while. Trying to put everything he said in my head. Then I finally said, "well I'm not."

Johnny slowly walked toward me, at least he tried to. _Johnny_... "Dallas, you know you could tell us anything," he said softly. I eyed him with frustration and confusion. All I could think about right now was Tim.

"I- I... Gee Johnny I don't know how to say this to you. I'm fine. I just need some rest," I said.

"You just woke up," Steve said. "Yah, I know- but." I had nothing to say I was speechless. I knew I had to get out. "You know if you don't want me here I can just leave!"

"Dally, we never said that!" Johnny declared. I got my jacket and slammed the door on my wait out.

_Where to go now..._

I walked a while.. to where? I don't know. I'd see where I'd make my way. At the moment I missed my friends and wanted to tell them exactly how I felt. That I was hurt and sad, that I wanted to make this better by not thinking about it. But it wasn't helping and I knew it wouldn't help unless I actually talked to Tim about it, 'cause it's not my friends I'm having this problem with, it's with Tim. And only Tim. _That settles it! I'm going to march to Tim's house and demand we talk. _I walked my way to Tim's house and hoped he would understand. _I really hoped he understand_

Reaching Tim's house I saw Tim outside on his porch sitting. Just sitting. I froze. I couldn't go any closer. Just looking at him made me wanna piss my pants. Which was not a Dallas Winston thing to do. _No I'm Dallas. I can do this! _I walked and there I stood in front of him. He looked up at me. "Hey Dallas," he said with a smirk. As if he expected me to come. "Hey Tim we need to talk," I said with a strict tough tone. "And what exactly do we need to talk about Dallas?" I didn't say anything. I could've but there was something about Tim voice that made me quiet.

"About that time," I said not looking at him.

"About_ what_ time Dallas?"

"About the time we did... what we did." I still wasn't looking at him. I heard him chuckle.

"Oh. You mean_ that_ time Dallas."

"Yeah-" Wait there it was again. I had finally noticed. He kept saying my name. _Dallas_. "Why do you keep saying my name?" He looked at me with a questionable look. "What?" he asked, confused. "You keep saying my name after everything you say." He didn't take his eyes off me. Finally he looked the other way. "I-I don't know." I smiled. "What are you smiling about?" he asked me a bit angrily. Maybe just maybe Tim liked me too. He's obviously an ass but I'm an ass too and if I could like him then maybe he could like me. "Nothing," I said.

"Hey Tim!" Curly called out from inside that house. "You got a phone call!" Tim looked at me. I saw a saddness in his eyes and he went inside without saying a word. I gotta admit that kind of hurt me but I was too busy thinking about the possibility that Tim might like me.

I walked back to the Curtis' house. Might as well tell them I don't know what got into me.

Once I reached the Curtis house I slowly opened the door and went in. "Hey you're here!" Two-bit said loudly. "I'm here," I whispered disappointed. "What happened to you Dally?" Steve asked. "I... I don't know honestly but I can tell you one thing," I said and my wise-ass tone coming up, "I'm Dallas and I'm fine. I don't need you baboons worrying about me 'cause I can handle my own problem but I don't have that type of problem 'cause I'm Dallas Winston and I never have problems." Pony, Soda, Steve, Two-bit, and even Johnny were smiliing at me with doubt. Maybe I over did it. "Where's Darry?" I asked. "He went to go run a quick erron," Pony answered. I sat down beside Johnny and apologized. "It's ok. I just don't want to see you upset Dally." "I'm fine," I said with a smile.

As we watched to tv Soda and Steve walked away and entered Soda's room. They closed the door. _Guess I'm not the only one_. I smiled.

Darry came back in and sat down on his couch. "Hey you're back Dally." "Yeah." "I'm not even gonna ask," he said shaking his head as he smiled. "Where's Soda?" he asked Pony. "Must've went to the gas station with Steve. I don't know I was distracted by the tv." Darry looked at Two-bit who was distracted by the tv then looked at Johnny who was looking at Pony with confusion. "Pony, you're never distracted by the tv." Pony kept quiet. "Where's Soda? And where's Steve?" I looked at Pony who had an anxious face. He shrugged. "God dammit!" Darry got up and made his way to Soda's room. 'Darry don't!" Pony cried. He slammed opened the door. "What the hell is this?" A nervous Pony rushed toward Darry. Two-bit looked at me and asked what was going on. "Stay," I told Johnny and followed Pony. I saw Soda and Steve lying on the bed. "I come home to find you two kissing! _Kissing! _What's a matter with you Soda? I don't know what I'm gonna do with you Soda but Steve, you get the hell out of my house!" I looked at Darry who was more than furious. "NO!" I shouted. He looked at me with confusion and so did Pony. Even Soda and Steve did though they were already shock at the moment. "They're just in love."


	8. Tim

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:** Tim

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I stood there looking as dumb as ever. What the hell did I just yell out. "I-I," I said with trembling lips. Darry cocked his eyebrow while staring at me. "What? What the hell are you talking about?" he asked just as shocked as I was. Maybe less. At the moment I felt even more shocked then anyone should feel. At least I thought I should, I mean I'm not the one that got caught kissing a boy. Shit, how would Darry react to me making love with- having sex with Tim. Just seeing his reaction to Soda and Steve made my stomach twist. I leaned against the wall trying to look the least bit cool. I needed to. "You know," I stopped. I didn't know what else to say. "I-well- damn how should I put this." Why didn't I just stop? I was making a fool out of my self. "Yeah, how should you put this?" Darry asked angrily.

Suddenly the phone began ringing. Soda or Pony were usually the ones that answered the phone but it seemed to me that they were both too busy. I walked away slowly and made my way to the phone. The gang followed me and they all stared at me with confusion as I answered the phone. I was getting pretty uncomfortable with the gang eyeing me. Even Steve and Soda stared at me from the hall. "Hello," I said coolly. "Dallas? Good, hope you would have answered. There was no call for Tim," a familiar girly voice said on the other line. "What?" I asked confused. _Who the hell is this? _I still felt the boys looking at me which wasn't making me feel any more comfortable. "Who the hell is this?" "Who is it?" I heard Darry ask me. "What kind of game is this?" I asked furiously and that the moment the sensitive side of me that I never knew I had left and my hard as nails side was coming back. "You idiot mother fucker." That voice was so familiar! "I don't like stupid people playing little games on me," I said, my fist balling up. "It's Angela you asshole," the girl said. Angela? Oh that's right Tim and Curly's younger sister. "An- What the hell are you yapping about. Call someone else who cares 'cause I don't wanna hear it." I heard a girlish growl on the line before I was getting ready to hang up. "I'm not playing you asshole. I said there was no call for Tim. I wanted Curly to call him in 'cause I saw you out there." _That's why I didn't hear no phone ring_… I didn't say anything. "I didn't want you anywhere near my brother you faggot!" She yelled across the phone. "Faggot?" "I'm not stupid you pin head! I over heard Curly telling Pony what you did with my brother. I bet you got him drunk 'cause there's no way Tim would ever-" "Curly? Pony? How long ago was this?" I asked shocked out of my mind. "What about Curly and Pony and the word faggot?" Darry asked getting even angrier. "How long have you stayed away from my brother… about four months-" "Three," I corrected her. "I don't give a shit. All I know is that Curly told Pony _three_ months ago and since then you haven't been near my brother and keep it that way you fuckin' faggot!" I froze. "Stop saying faggot," I said trying to keep my voice down but I don't know why. Everyone would've heard me regardless. I just hoped they didn't hear her. "Where is he?" I asked with a forceful tone. "He's not here and I'm not telling you where he went," she argued back. Angela always did have spunk. She got that from her brothers. "L-let me talk to Curly." "What happened?" I heard Pony ask. "He's not here either. Now this is my only warning. You stay away from my brother you _faggot _or you'll get it. I know guys Dallas and the town will hear about it."

Then she hung up. Like nothing didn't even let me respond. I wasn't scared or nervous of the fact she knew. Honestly I was afraid of the fact that I probably couldn't see Tim anymore. _What the hell? I'm Dallas Winston! I don't listen to no punk ass girl. _Darry didn't take his eyes off me. "Who was it?" Pony finally asked. Darry turned around and faced both Soda and Steve. I guess he felt that they were there. Where else would they have gone. If they had ran out Darry would have been even more furious then he already was and nobody liked to see Darry angry. I didn't care much though. He didn't scare me.

"I'll deal with you two- later," he said pointing at Soda. I suspect he was gonna call them something mean or judgmental but I don't think he could bring himself to calling Soda that kind of stuff. "You," he pointed at me, "we're going for a ride." He walked out the door and I gave Pony a cold glare. He little moron knew this whole time-

And he didn't say not one word…

..… I was surprised yet relieved at the same time. Maybe he didn't mind either. I followed Darry and hoped everything went okay between Steve and Soda. I was never really this caring but something about the way Tim touched me… changed me…

"So," I said looking out the window. I was wondering what he wanted to talk about. Why wonder? I know what he wanted to talk about… I just didn't wanna talk about it. "Dal," he began ,"what was that all about." 'What was what about?" At the moment I wasn't really paying any attention. I was concerned about that call I got from Angela and it made me sick to my stomach. The little fuck. I could break that girls jaw if she talked but…

"Dallas?" Darry cried.

"Oh- what?" I guess he asked me question…

"What did you mean by saying they're in love?"

I said nothing. I sat there thinking about Tim. This wasn't good at all. I couldn't keep wasting my time thinking about Tim but the worst part about it was I couldn't find myself thinking shitty things about him. Like every rib he broke of mine in the past. I sat there visualizing him before I ran back to the Curtis house.

He looked upset. Almost like he wanted to tear up but that's more or less possible. He looked like he didn't want to leave my sight and didn't want me to leave his. He looked like he was dying to hold him. Threaten by the fact that a tough careless hood like him shouldn't feel that way. But in a twisted resisting kind of way he felt it and somehow it didn't bother him at all. Except the short seconds when he felt that he had to pull his hairs off for fucking up with me. Regretting he ever made the mistake of running out his room because of his embarrassment. But I was wrong. I could've waited for him to return if he was going to anyway.

_I ran out._

Maybe he came back after losing Curly expecting me to be sitting on the bed concerned and looking at him with deep passion in eyes because what we had done was the best thing I'd ever done in my life. And I of things I have done in my life weren't really what I would call the best.

But no… I ran out.

"Dallas…"

"Oh yah," I said startled. I was trying to come up with a reason of why I said that and what I meant by it. "Well…" Oh forget it! I'm just gonna be honest with him. "Geez Darry look I'm pretty sure Steve and Sodapop wouldn't just kiss and hug for the fuck of it. They like each other. They have been best friends since grade school and they've been close since then. They've gotten closer. Close enough to the point where they like each other. I can't tell you whether they love each other or not but it has to be that! And well- to be honest with- I think they're good for each other."

I didn't expect it so when Darry pushed the breaks firmly my head hit the wind shield something hard. "You what?" he asked very angry and shocked. "Darry he's your brother," I said rubbing my head. "And you should accept him anyway. It's Soda, Darry! Soda!" Now I really didn't expect it cause after saying what I said Darry told me to get out.

"What?" I asked digging through my ear.

"I said get out…"

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Well I'm not so Dallas Winston get out of my truck this second."

I looked at him for a pretty long second and stepped out. "Darry at least just think about it," I told him. He looked in thought but without a word he drove off. Oh well…

Back to more important things…

Tim.

...

Hey this one was super short but I've got this idea with Tim and Dallas and it just wouldn't go good with this chapter so sorry. But don't worry TimxDallas will come back in the next chapter


	9. I've waited for this

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:**

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I walked to Tim's house. Regretting it. I knew Angela would be there and raise hell if I got anywhere near Tim. I started to wonder if he already talked to her. Told her to mind her own business and if she didn't he'd make her life a living hell. But she's a Shepard and no Shepard goes back on a Shepard. They, The Shepard's, have total pride in themselves. Who could blame them but then nothing Angela was nothing but trouble. Messing with boys, being a broad. One day she might come home pregnant and give Tim a heap of trouble. Luckily, Darry got stuck with two younger brothers.

I thought of Soda. I hoped he and Steve were okay. Ass odd as it was, I thought Darry went a little too far.

Then I stopped to think about it…

Soda and Steve? Well who could figure? They have been best friends since grade school. They've had a better relationship than they ever had with their girlfriends. Not to mention Sandy breaking his heart.

I wondered how it all started. I wondered if Soda felt like that for Steve before Sandy even broke his heart. I wondered if Steve was hiding feelings for Soda this whole time. I wondered if Steve and Soda had a small thing secretly while they were dating Evie and Sandy. No. They probably just had in denial feelings for each other.

Kind if like mine for Tim. I didn't want to think so. Every time it came to my mind that I had to stop lying to myself, that I had feelings for Tim. Jesus, even repeating it brings a tight not to my stomach. Sometimes I thought that it all had to be a lie. That I was just being deluded. But it couldn't and I knew it couldn't.

Shoot I know I've been around Tim for the longest and he always had a reason to break my ribs. Did it bother the hell out of me? No, honestly I deserved it.

I stopped. What the hell am I talking about? I shouldn't have been feeling like that. I knew it was wrong and I knew I had much more pride than that. But where the hell was it? I'm not being myself. This isn't me and I don't like this person – this thing- that's taking over. _I can't let this happen. I won't let it happen. Who cares about my mixed emotions 'cause I sure don't. I'll shot them off. _I noticed I was about three houses away from Tim's and I turned around to head the other direction. The second I turned around a fist knocked me in the face. Hard enough for me to trip back and fall bad on ground. I opened my eyes and saw Angela with a group of hoods. "Told you I knew people. I thought I told you to stay away from my house." I opened my mouth to say something but before I could one of the assholes kicked me in the stomach. Another in the face. I got up and decided to defend myself or at least try but one of them pulled out a pipe. He hit me on the side of my knee with the pipe and I fell to the ground. _Fuck! My leg!_ "that was a loud snap. How about his arm now," Angela said. Still trying to defend myself I tried kicking them with my leg that wasn't broken. I even tried dragging myself away from them. And then I didn't see the use of it. He lifted up the pipe and busted it against my stomach. I coughed something out that taste disgusting. I'm pretty sure it was blood. I lay on the ground knowing they weren't finished. Giving up I lay there flat waiting for the next hit. I can handle it. I can handle any punch or kick. Oddly I didn't receive one hit. Wondering what was going on I opened my eyes. Above me was Tim. …Tim…" I whispered. He lifted his foot and that's when I felt his heavy pressure on my face.

"Dally? Dal?" I heard a voice. _Johnny?_

"I think he's waking up," I heard Pony's voice.

I opened my eyes and saw Pony and Johnny all up in my face. "Pon- John-?" I struggled to say.

"Hey there. How are you feeling?" Soda said getting up from the kitchen table and making his way to me. I noticed Two-Bit was following him.

"I'm good, I'm fine," I answered.

"You don't look fine. You look awful," Pony commented.

"Do you wanna look like this?" I asked but was to weak to even get up.

Pony laughed and I smiled. "Who did this? Do you know," Soda asked and I noticed his eyes were watery. They also had a burning sensation to them. _He's been crying for a while._

"Yeah, and whoever it is you know we'll go kick their unlucky-" I interrupted Two-bit from any cursing he was going to blurt out.

"Where's Darry? Why have you been crying Soda? What did he do?"

I noticed Johnny shaking his head trying to warn me to shut my mouth. _Damn I should've kept my mouth shut. _Soda looked at me and smiled and Two-Bit rubbed him on the shoulder. "Darry's in his room resting. He's ok with me. No problem. He just wants to think for a minute." I stayed silent. "He still a little disappointed but he said he'll never treat me like that again. We made up. Everything is… fine." He cleared his throat and said he was a bit thirsty. He walked into the kitchen and Two-Bit gave me a stern look.

"He didn't know," Johnny told Two-Bit.

"What happened?" I asked a little too concerned. I don't know why I was being so caring about this. They're my frinds and all but why too much? Maybe because I was hurting too, like Soda. And then I remembered. Tim… "What did I say? Is he really okay with Darry?" I asked trying to forget about Tim.

"He and Darry are okay," Pony answered a little upset.

"Then what is?"

"Steve…" Pony answered.

_Steve? _ "Wait, what happened with Steve? Did Darry run him out, did he forbid Soda from seeing him, did he hurt him?" I whispered trying to be as quiet as I can. Pony shook his head.

"When you and Darry left, Steve left too," Johnny said.

"Was he mad?"

"No," Pony said. "He told Soda he knew it was a bad idea and soon they were gonna get caught and he feels it will be better if they don't see each other for a while."

_Steve? _I didn't say anything.

"Soda loves Steve- as a best friend and he wasn't gonna argue with him so he accepted what Steve wanted without hesitation."

"Just don't bring it up," Two-Bit said and went into the kitchen with Soda.

_Damn, what'd I do? "_What's with him?" I asked.

Pony eyed Two-Bit and probably thought of how to answer my question. Johnny shrugged. "Man am I hungry? Are you hungry?" Johnny asked. "I'm good," Pony said.

"I'm good too."

"Do you want me to get up and get you something?"

Johnny got up. "No I'll it myself thanks anyway."

When Johnny left Pony looked directly into my eyes.

"What?"

"Did Tim do that?" he asked very quietly.

I widened my eyes. _What?_ "What?" He simply looked at me without saying a word. Waiting for an answer. "What makes you say that? Better yet what would make you think that? Huh?"

He shook his head. "No reason. It might be a dumb question but Tim just came in mind."

"And why's that?" I said looking away.

"Forget it."

I looked at him and he looked away. "You know, I don't care what you see me as. I don't care if you think I'm a faggot or a gay little prick. I don't care. I never did care what anyone thought of me and I won't start now."

"What?" Pony asked confused.

"Don't play dumb. I know you know-" I began to whisper "-about me and Tim."

Pony looked at me for what felt like a long minute. "I know you know that I know," he confessed. "I'm not playing dumb. I was only asking 'what' because of the fact that you thought I would think of you that well. Gee, Dal I always thought you were the worst person in the gang but I'd never think of you _that_way." He made eye contact with me once again. "You can't help _who_ you like. Just like Soda can't either."

I thought about what Pony had said. I didn't say anything for a minute but I wanted to thank him. Finally I said, "Tim knocked me out."

Pony's mouth dropped a little.

"He," I continued. "He wasn't there at first I guess. I didn't see him. Angela warned me on the phone if I didn't stay away from Tim she would get people. I tried to fight back." I chuckled. _Yeah, tired. _ "But, uh, then one pulled out a pipe. I was on the ground and next thing I knew I saw Tim and he knocked me out cold…" I almost felt tears running up my eyes. _Oh fuck Dal. Man up. _"Uhh…" I looked at my leg. " I think my leg is dislocated."

Pony looked at it too. "Don't worry Darry popped it and wrapped it up."

_Darry._ "Is he really okay with Soda?" Pony nodded. "Well, I don't understand why would Steve-" Johnny came back with a piece of chocolate cake I his mouth and another piece on his hand. Pony shook his head. I figured he didn't want to talk about it while Johnny was around. "Want a piece?" Johnny asked me. "No, Johnny. You eat up." I looked around. It still looked like it was just the afternoon. "How long was I out?"

"About half an hour," Johnny answered.

It had been a week and I had done exactly what Angela had said to do. I hadn't gone near Tim nor did I think about him. And it was tough but right now I was pissed at the fuck. In order to continue to keep Tim out of my mind I decided to go to buck's late night party tonight. When I arrived I saw Tim talking to a couple of hoods.

My stomach became tight. _Just my luck. _

"Dallas!" Buck shouted which caused Tim to looked my way. "Come on over here man! A drink!" With hesitation I walked toward Buck while Tim eyed me for a second then he went back to conversing. When I reache3d Buck he grabbed me by the waist with one arm. I looked around to make sure no one was noticing and when I made sure no one was I slowly released myself from. _That was odd… _"Hey I've been dying to ask you a question," he said taking a sip from his drink and handing it to me afterward_. Not you too_. 'About what? About Tim?" I asked angrily. He tilted his head and smiled thoughtful. "Actually yeah." I looked at him directly in the eyes and said nothing. I was speechless. 'Well-" he contined but I stopped listening once I saw Sylvia on the couch huddled up on some hood. And oddly that didn't seem to bother me any. She kept looking back at me, I assumed trying to make me jealous. "Well Dally?" Buck asked. I looked back at "Oh what?" Buck looked at me with an angry blank expression and looked back to where I was staring off. "Oh Sylvia. Dal, you broke up with her for that same reason. Jealous much? Get over her." I looked at Buck with a dumb expression and felt like slapping him. "Here have a beer." He handed me a beer bottle and then I saw Tim dragging some broad to the couch and he began licking and nibbling on her neck. I gripped on the beer bottle and without thinking I threw it toward them. My aim was off thought it had almost hit the guy Sylvia was with. I didn't care. That bottle could've hit Sylvia on the head and it would've made my day. "You fuck!" I shouted and walked out of Buck's place.

I quickly walked trying to get away from Buck's bar but I was still near it. I reached a flickering street light to rest on. I felt confused and frustrated. "Damn," I murmured. I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't wanna see anyone right now. Anyone…

"Don't," I strictly said. The footsteps stop and I heard Tim ask, "why." I began to breathe heavily. My breathing became heavier knowing I could not resist. I felt my heart beating faster and faster and I heard a screaming in my head. "Dallas," he whispered. I breathed heavily one last time and as quick as I could I went toward him and kissed him passionately.

He pushed me toward the street light and held me tightly against it as he kissed me like there was no tomorrow. And there we stood kissing under a flickering street light with no company but the wind. _I've waited for this._


	10. I love you too

Title: Sudden change of heart

Chapter: I love you too

Author: sodapoplover

Warning: Guy/Guy

Pairing: Dallas & Tim

Book: The Outsider (I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)

We were kissing so fucking passionately and aggressively but stopped when I heard a familiar voice mumble my name. I slightly pushed Tim off when I saw Steve Randle standing only about eight feet away from us. He was standing there with a pounding heart and a bottle of beer on his right hand. "Oh my God, Steve!" I cried. Steve didn't move. He just stood there looking shocked and dumbfounded. 'What are you doing?" he asked dropping his bottle of beer. "What- what am I doing?" I questioned myself looking at Tim as he looked back at me and Steve. "That's a good question. What am I doing?" Steve stepped back a little and I stuttered, "Well Steve, what does it look like I'm doing?" Tim pulled his greasy hair back and rolled his eyes. "You're making out with Tim…" He laughed a little but it was more like a scared kind of laughter. "Yap. Y-yeah you're right. I am making out with Tim. Now I bet you're wondering why." I said taking a cancer stick out of my pocket and lighting it up. I sure needed one at the moment. "Uh huh," Steve said nodding his head. I laughed coolly and told myself to pull it together. "Y-you're gay?" he asked confusedly. I looked at Tim who bit his lip. He didn't seem scared or surprised he just seemed annoyed and a bit frustrated. "And Tim… Tim Shepard is too," he said pointing at Tim. "You're gay?" he asked again. "You're drunk," was my response. "You're GAY!" he said. "Like you're one to talk! You're dating your best friend!" I blurted out. Tim quickly turned to look at Steve shockingly and asked ,"you're dating Sodapop?" Steve's mouth dropped. "I'm not _dating_ him! We were just friends with benefits!" he cried stepping up to me. "Well so are Tim and I," I replied proudly and didn't even know why. Tim looked at me confusedly and asked, "we are." "Since?" Steve shouted. "Months ago. Well, it's a long story. This is practically our second time kissing." "What?" Steve asked confusedly while pulling a bit of his hair back and scratching the back of his neck. "Ok. Ok let's go to my place and talk this through," Tim said as he walked back to Buck's to get in his car. He turned to look at Steve who was frozen. "Follow," he ordered.

Once we reached Tim's house we all headed to Tim's room. In the living room were Angela and some of her whore friends. I heard Tim telling her if she started any mess she'd regret ever being born. _"Any_ mess," he hissed. "You just remember what we talked about ok baby sister." Angela's face went red with anger but she kept quiet.

"Well when did this exactly happen?" Steve asked shaking then he added, "can I have some water?"

Tim threw him a water bottle. "Uh," I began. "Well it all started the night of the rumble."

"The night of the rumble?" he asked spitting some water out.

I nodded. "Yeah and that night we … we – well we did it," I finished.

He spitted some more water out and said, "wow, Soda and I haven't even gotten there yet."

"You haven't?" Tim asked popping a pepsi bottle open for himself.

"No," he said drinking more water. 'I didn't want to."

"Why not?" I asked thinking about how sad Soda was. "Wait. Have you even seen him?"

"No. Well yeah but only at work and we hardly talk."

"Why? Why are you avoiding him?"

"I'm not avoiding him. I see him at work Dal."

"I still call that avoiding. If you're not making conversation with him."

Tim simply took sips out of his drink while looking back and forth at me and Steve arguing. "He's really upset because you said you wanted to put this whole thing on hold."

"Well why wouldn't I? It's better this way anyway. You saw how mad Darry got."

"Yeah, but he's over it now- sort of. Look beyond that point Sandy dumped Soda you dumped Evie and found out that you were attracted to each other, so you get together because that's the way it's supposed to be. I mean your best friends for fuck sake."

"The way it's supposed to be?" Steve questioned getting up. "What the hell happened to you Dallas? Now that you're with Tim-"

"He's not exactly with me," Tim interrupted. _Asshole._

"What is with you? Yeah Soda and I are best friends but that doesn't mean we have to be together! I mean God! What is up with you? Now that you and Tim got with each other you think you found a knight in shining armor? Wake up Dal! What happened to you?... 'The way it's supposed to be'. Honestly Dal. I love Soda, with all my heart, but it's not an obligation that I have to be with him." He stared at me for a long second then said anxious, "sorry but I gotta go."

I looked at Tim who was looking at me back. "So…" he said laying back on his bed. I stared at his body and couldn't help but be turned on by him. "Do you gotta leave too?"

"No," I answered stubbornly. I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay with Tim but it's not like I wanted to admit it. I walked around his room and looked around aimlessly.

"So…" he said slowly. "What do you wanna do?"

I looked at him pathetically. "What is there to do," I asked looking away.

"Well… You could come in bed with me." He scooted over and gave me a half seductive smile. He patted the side of the bed then put his arms behind his head and stared off at the ceiling. I guess he got the idea that he didn't have to ask me again. Regardless I made my way to his bed and lay beside him. I was trying not to get too close to him but he was pulling me closer. We stayed there laying in bed doing nothing but staring at the ceiling fan that spin crookedly. It felt like long minutes and neither one of us had said a word. Finally he sat up and lit a cigarette. "Do you want one?" he asked as he put the cancer stick in his mouth. "No. I'm good. Thanks anyway," I answered. _Thanks anyway? Oh come on Dallas! _He stayed seated on the edge of the bed and didn't say a word. Right when I was gonna ask him why he kicked the shit out of me earlier that week he said," do you think they'll get together?" "Who?" I asked sitting up. "Soda and Steve," he said slowly blowing some smoke out of his mouth. _Damn was that sexy. _I thought about the question he asked me then said, "I think at the moment Steve's too chicken shit too admit he likes a guy and on top of that his best friend from grade school." Tim nodded his head. "Hell even I was scared when I realized I liked you," I said softly and quietly. I knew he heard me but decided to ignore it. "So you _do_ think Steve likes Soda?" "Steve, I think likes the kind of girls who could really fall for him and Soda, he's the biggest exception. He understands him completely." "And you?" he asked. "Me?" I laughed. "Damn Tim I don't have any standards. Shoot, I'm even going out with you." Tim slowly turned to look at me. His face was something I couldn't explain but it sure did make me tense. "I don't ever remember asking you out." I looked down with embarrassment and disappointed. "I know." "Well," he said as slide his hand across his greasy hair back and forth and slid off his ring. "Dallas Winston…" he said showing me the ring and continued, "would you like to go out with me?" As shocked as I was I wanted to loudly shout hell yeah but I didn't want to overdo it. "Tim…" I quietly whispered as I looked at the ring. "Just say yes Winston." I looked up at him and he was surprise to see the biggest smile on my face. ''Yes." I took the ring from him and began to slip it onto my finger but stopped when I noticed the ring I gave to Sylvia around my finger. "What? You don't want it?" he asked a bit angrily but I heard a worried tone in his voice. I took my ring off and handed it to him. "Let's trade," I said. "This is a commitment." He kissed me and we lay in the dark in each other's arms. _I don't want this moment to go away_.

"Tim?"

"Yeah?" he asked sleepily.

"How do you think this is going to end?" No answer. I sat up to look at him. He had fell asleep. "Good night," I said kissing his cheek. As I started to fall asleep I could've sworn I heard him say, "I hope good… I love you." I was too sleepy to be stunned by what I heard and what I said back. "I love you too."And I fell into a deep sleep.


	11. A soc huh?

Title: Sudden change of heart

Chapter: A soc huh?

Author: sodapoplover

Warning: Guy/Guy

Pairing: Dallas & Tim

Book: The Outsider (I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)

I was at the Curtis' where the whole gang, besides Steve, was sitting down in the kitchen table eating burgers and shakes. Everyone was awfully quiet and I wanted to break the silence but didn't know how. "Nice ring. What happen to your Christopher Dal?" Johnny asked. "Uh, you know I just set it aside… somewhere." "You're not back with Sylvia are you?" Two-Bit asked with a concern look. "Uh, no no. I just put it aside like I just said." Soda swallowed his food and softly asked, "where'd you get that one?" I could tell he was still hurt especially having the fact that Steve wasn't here either. "Uh … This one, I've been having I just never wore it." He nodded his head without questioning any further. Two-bit on the other hand kept on asking. "Why haven't you ever worn it?" "I don't know." "Who did it belong to?" "It's been mine. I found it." "And why start wearing it now?" "I don't know Two-bit so why don't you stop asking and finish your food." Two-bit took one big sip out of his shake. "I'm finished," he said with a big cocky smile. I never noticed but Two-bit had one sexy smile. _Really_ _Dal?_ It was quiet for a while then Two-bit began rubbing Soda's chin. "You're not hungry baby?" he kid. "Oh, stop it Two-bit," Soda said half way smiling. Darry cleared his throat and got up. "I'm going to work now." He quickly made his way to the door. "When will you be back?" Pony asked. "Who knows," he said stepping out and slamming the door shut. We all stared at each other and I'm sure one wanted to ask what was wrong with him but we stayed quiet. "Soooo…" Of course Two-bit was the one to speak out first. "Do you guys wanna do anything today? Maybe like go hang out at a drive-in or the bowling alley or get boozed up at the lot and- " "I don't do drinking," Pony interrupted. 'Well pony you don't have to drink Pony. Only me, Dal, Johnny, and Soda will." "I don't do that either Two-bit," Johnny said laughing at the fact that Two-bit included him in. "And…" Pony went on, "Soda doesn't need to get drunk. He gets drunk out of just plain living." "Well, look at him," Two-bit cried as he held Soda's head up. "Son needs to get drunk." Johnny snickered a little. "Well I'm good with whatever. As long as we don't bump into any soc," I said. "Got that right," Johnny agreed. "Ok, so what?" Two-bit asked putting his arm around Pony. "I say we go to the lot and just relax," Johnny insisted. "Then it's settled! Is that fine with you Soda-babe?" Ever since we all found out about Soda's liking for Steve two-bit has been joking around with him? 'Yeah, I'm fine with that," Soda answered.

It got quiet again and as always the first to talk was Two-bit. "So? DO you guys wanna do something? Doesn't matter what. We can't just sit around here all lazy and dull." "That's all you are Two-bit. Lazy," Pony commented and made Johnny laugh. I noticed that Soda made a small chuckle but nothing really too big. _Damn, he's really off_. "But not dull," Two-bit answered with a huge grin then he turned to Soda. "What do you have in mind?" he asked. Soda shook his head and picked up his trash. As he headed to the trash he explained that he couldn't hang out because he had work in an hour. He decided what he wanted to do was to go upstairs and sleep and Two-bit didn't seem to have a problem with it. Instead of bothering him into having some fun before he goes to work he instead joined him upstairs for a short nap. I began to wonder some things that I didn't even wanna think about in the first place. "Pony, Johnny and I sat in the living room seeing what was on tv. Nothing good was on so Pony turned it off.

I couldn't help but look at Johnny and think about how weird it was that he was not dead. Especially when I needed him the most. I didn't notice but Johnny was looking back at me. "Yeah?" I asked with my smile. His face went a little red and he asked, "what?" back. I chuckled as I shook my head and laid it back on the arm chair. I start thinking about Tim and began noticing that I'm losing it. I usually didn't fall this bad for anybody. As a matter of I never fell for anyone and now all I think about is Timothy Shepard. How much I am falling for him and falling in… love with him. He told me he loved me last night and I said it back…

'I'm losing it," I quietly mumbled. "Huh?" Ponyboy asked. 'Uhh nothing," I answered but I'm pretty sure he didn't believe me. _Oh Dallas_… But I couldn't help it. I shook my head while Pony and Johnny looked at me oddly. "You know what," Pony said, "let's play cards. " He got a deck of cards and sat down in the kitchen table. Johnny and I joined. All three of us sat quietly for a while until I cried, "ok! Someone deal!" Ponyboy quickly stopped shuffling the cards. "Ok let's play," Pony said as he passed out cards. After almost in hour of playing Soda came down smiling a little a bit. "Slept good?" Pony ask with concern. "Yeah, I slept fine. Off to work. I'll see you guys tonight." He made his way to the door but before he could walk out Pony asked where was Two-Bit? Soda smiled and whispered, "knocked out don't wake him up." And then he left. I could tell Pony wasn't so sure if Soda was gonna be okay but why even mention it. I thought Steve would come around maybe he was thinking about Soda like I was thinking about Tim. Or maybe not…

"Uh…" I said trying to make talk. I notice Johnny looking at me again. "Yes Johnny?" I asked slowly but loudly. "Huh?" Johnny cried coming back from whatever thought he lost in. "You keep looking at me man. Do I have something on my face?" Johnny shook his head. "No… It's not that." Then he and Pony looked at each other. Obviously something was up. "Ok, what's going on why are you two giving each other the "don't say anything about you- know- what" face. Pony cocked an eyebrow, something we all picked up from Two- Bit. "What kind of face is that?" he asked smartly. _Steve was right. He is a smart ass kid. _"Don't play dumb with me Pony and don't question me either." "Ok," he replied quietly but kind of relieved he changed the subject. So I decided to drop it for now. After a few minutes after Johnny and Pony talking about some movie they wanna see Two-Bit came down yawning loudly.

"Soda left already?" he asked sitting down.

"A couple of minutes ago," Pony answered.

"Shoot… So what are we doing?"

"Not much," I pouted.

Two- Bit was quiet and then he jumped. "Ohh! Mickey Mouse should be on. Come on!" he said jumping on the couch.

Johnny followed and when Pony got up I grabbed him by the wrist and shook my head. "Sit down," I commanded and he did. "What do you know that I don't?" Nothing . "Does he know about Tim and me." Pony shook his head. "Then," I impatiently asked. "Nothin-" "Pony!" Pony looked at me for awhile. "He's just noticed that you've kind of change." "Change?" "Yeah, not in a bad way though." "Oh…? Is that all?" He nodded. "Are you and Tim … together now…?" he asked out of nowhere. "Huh?" I mumbled shockingly. "Why are you asking those stupid questions?" I asked angrily. "You're wearing his ring…" I froze. Shit, time froze and my mouth slightly dropped. I looked at my hand and saw Tim Shepard's ring around my finger. "Ti- H- How do you-" I stuttered. "I know what Tim's ring looks like. I've been around Curly long enough to know what Tim's ring looks like." I said nothing. The kid had me speechless. "And you don't have yours. I guessin' Tim has it." I flinched and he quickly got up. "But, I could be wrong." "I'm not gonna hurt you," I said still sitting. "… I'm just surprised you knew that… that we are… together." I saw Pony smile. "That's cute," he admitted. I gazed at him with cold eyes. 'Sort of," he added. "Whatever." He looked at me dead in the eye. "I won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me." I looked at him for a long second and thanked him. I sighed and got up to my feet. "C'mon let's go watch Two-Bit's dumb Mickey Mouse show," I said as Pony and I made our way to Johnny and Two-Bit. "It ain't dumb," Two-Bit hissed not taking his eye of the TV. There we all sat watching TV while I thought of Tim.

That night we were at the lot. All except for Soda.

"Shouldn't his shift be done by now?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yeah," Pony answered. "Maybe he's coming late or he's really tired and just went home."

"Well that shouldn't stop us," I said drinking my beer.

After a few more drinks I realized Soda wasn't gonna come at all. And my head was starting to feel really funny. Two-Bit and I were starting to get drunk as hell and then I lost myself. I awoke later. "Hey!" Pony cried quietly. It was dark and I was on a couch. "What- What happened?" I asked lost. "You got drunk. Both you and Two-Bit. You start talking about some _crazy_ stuff." "Crazy?" I cried. "Yeah, like Tim and stuff but don't worry I walked away with Johnny so he wouldn't hear." "And Two-Bit?" "He was too drunk trust me." "Where are they?" "Here. Now go to bed you seem tired." "And Soda?" "Not here yet. I'm kind of worried but it isn't _that_ late Darry's not home yet either. Get some rest." "Ok." Pony lay back down on a pile of blankets on the floor. He wasn't going to sleep though. Neither was I. I was thinking about Tim. AGAIN! Ugh! I just- I hated to admit it but I missed him a lot. Maybe I should talk to someone about it. It might help. But the only there is, is… Ponyboy…

I looked at him and he was still awake. No I shouldn't. Why should I? It's Ponyboy. I don't talk to him and he don't talk to me. I thought about it a few more times and when I opened my mouth someone came in. "Soda?" I heard Pony call. "Pony?" Soda said back. "What happened Soda? You never came to the lot. Did something happen with Steve?" Soda chuckled a little. "No me and Steve are fine . We're still hanging in there and I'm so sorry I didn't get there. It's just…" "Just?" Soda took a minute. "I had a little distraction after my shift," Soda said shyly. "With?" "Nothing important," he quickly answered, "everyone crashing in the living room? Are they all asleep?" "Yeah. Join?" I heard Soda slid between Pony and Johnny. I guessed they were going to bed now seeing as they were quiet. But, Soda kept moving a lot.

"Sodapop? Are you okay?" Pony asked.

Soda sighed. "No. I keep thinking of something and you know I ain't like you, I can't think a lot. It hurts my head."

Pony laughed and asked what was on his mind.

Soda kept quiet for a few seconds. He sighed again and said, "ok, ok, I'll tell you, but you gotta promise you won't tell anyone, got it?"

Pony nodded, "I promise."

"I … I think I like someone. After my shift I bumped into someone and we went somewhere… private. I know it seems too fast but it didn't just happen like _that_. At first, I thought was this person flirting with _me_ and why. Then I thought why on earth would they wanna hang with me but I took it into consideration and went along with it. When we were alone we kinda … well… we kissed."

"You _like_ someone!" Pony cried quietly. "And why wouldn't they flirt with you. Look at you!"

"Shush, not too loud. I don't want the rest to hear remember."

Pony nodded apologetically and playfully zipped his mouth. "Was it a light peck or a full one?"

It took a while for Soda to answer. It was almost like he was too embarrassed to say anything. "Small peck. A small quick peck Very quick actually then a …full one… and my hands… our hands… well… went… everywhere." _Come on he's fourteen_. I couldn't see Soda that well but he sounded shy.

"Who is she?" Pony paused. "Or…well… do I… know… _her_?" he asked slowly.

I could hear Soda moving a lot. "Um… well unfortunately this person is someone I'm not meant to like at all…because I'm a greaser," he mumbled that last part. "And yes I think you do know who they are. I think."

I looked at Pony, now that some light hit the windows. "I don't know a lot of girls though?" I thought about it and realized Pony was right. So far the only girls he knew was Cherry, Evie, Sylvia, that other soc with Cherry, and Angela. "Is it Cherry or Marcia?" _That's her name! _"No Marcia has a boyfriend. Cherry?"

"Nope and who is Marcia?"

"Just tell me who they are then? Are they a greaser or soc?"

"Soc. Darry's here now so go to sleep. . Good night Ponyboy."

Pony pecked at Soda, "She's a soc? Please tell me. Pleeeease." Then Darry's truck lights went off. "Fine, be that way Soda. Night," Pony pouted and Soda laughed silently.

Darry came in and made sure we were all asleep. The only one's faking were Soda, Pony, and me. He went straight to his room and shut the door. I lay and wondered what soc it could be besides Cherry and Marcia. And how would Steve take this. _A soc huh_? I'll find out somehow. I closed my eyes and crashed.


	12. Holy shit

Title: Sudden change of heart

Chapter: Holy shit

Author: sodapoplover

Warning: Guy/Guy

Pairing: Dallas & Tim

Book: The Outsider (I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)

I was sitting on Tim's porch… waiting for him. It had been two days to be exacted since I had seen him. Finally I saw him walking toward his house smoking a cigarette. When he saw me he threw it away and smiled. "Well, hello my little princess. Haven't seen you in a while." I ignored the "little princess" comment and asked him where he's been this whole time.

"My house," he answered.

"Oh cut me the bull shit. No you weren't."

"Why does it matter anyway?"

I held up my hand which had Tim's ring on. "That's why."

"We're not married Dallas…"

"...I don't care. Fuck it." I decided to change the subject after being … well insulted. "Anyway-"

Tim held me by my waist. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I was at-"

I pulled away. I couldn't believe it. That was the first time I've ever seen him vulnerable. "Any…way…" I continued. While you were gone I was hanging out with my buddies."

He cocked an eyebrow.

"And this one day Two-bit decided we all hung out. Me, him, Soda, Pony, and Johnny. He just wanted to cheer Soda up so we all decided we'd just relax at the lot."

Tim nodded looking uninterested.

"Well that night we were at the lot but Soda never showed up!"

He still looked uninterested

After a while we went to crash at Pony's house …now Pony and I were still awake but he didn't know I was still awake.

He began to look bored.

"So then Soda comes in and he and Pony start talking." I slightly slapped him on the cheek because he wasn't paying attention. "Then Soda confessed that he never showed up because he was with a SOC!"

"What?" Tim blurted.

"Yeah, yeah!" I shook him by the shoulders. "I wonder who it fucking is!"

He still looked pretty shocked. "A soc? Why a soc?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Steve upset him. I guess that soc made him feel… special…"

Tim looked at me for a while then cried, "a soc!" He began laughing. "Jesus! What do you think his brother will do when he finds out ? Boy! This I gotta see!" He pulled me by the arm and said lets go to the Curtis place.

"What? Why?" I asked pulling myself away. "Don't drag me."

He angrily smirked. Tim did like to get his way but he wasn't a big fuss about it like me. "Come on then," he demanded.

We reached the Curtis house and as we stepped in we saw Pony and Soda sitting on the couch watching TV. "Where's Darry?" I asked. Pony shushed me and told us he was upstairs sleeping. "Right…" I said lying on a couch unnoticeably pulling Tim to join. "Hey Soda!" "Yeah?" He wouldn't get his eyes off the TV. "You remember that night me and the boys spent at the lot?" Now he looked at me. "Yeah. Oh hi Tim." He said with a cute smile. I looked at Tim. "Yeah anyway, you never came. What happened?" Soda looked at Pony. "N-Nothing. As I was walking to the lot I had just realized I wanted to be alone." "No? Really?" I sarcastically asked. Tim elbowed me lightly. "Dal," he whispered. I looked at Tim for some seconds then looked away. I wanted to leave. I was starting to get mad… mad at him, mad at Soda, just mad…

"Dal, is everything ok?" Pony asked.

"Oh couldn't be better," I said rolling my eyes.

'_Right_," he said looking at Tim. I'm guessing he didn't hear the sarcasm in my voice.

It was quiet and I began to think that I didn't want to be here anymore. Even though they were all staring at the TV I felt their eyes on me. Feeling disturbed I got up but then someone came through the door. _Oh great. _It was Two-bit, Johnny and Steve…. Steve! As Steve came in Tim smiled at him teasingly. "Fuck you," Steve mouthed to Tim and looked away when he saw me sitting beside him. "Oh hey Tim! How's it hanging?" Two-bit shouted. "It's been good … It's been good," Tim said laying his head back. I saw Soda turn to look but when he saw Steve he faced the TV right away. "What a surprise! Can you guys believe that Steve decided to join us. It's been a while Steve. It has been a while," Two-bit said. Steve just nodded his head with no expression. "Yah…" "So what changed your mind?" I asked Steve. He looked at me and said, "Oh shut up Dally." Not much of an explanation but I decided to drop it. Then the thought of Steve finding out about Soda and his soc came in mind. How would Steve take it, most importantly how would the gang take it. Everyone sat down and watched TV for the mean time. They all sat there watching Mickey Mouse talking amongst each other. Not Tim though. He sat still. Not even looking at the show. Just looking at the gang or around the living room. I could tell he felt uncomfortable and I almost started to feel bad. _Yeah right._ It wasn't my fault. He's the one that wanted to come here in the first place. I got his attention and quietly asked him, "are you ok?" He gave me a rude glare. "Why the hell are you asking me that?" _Well shit then._

I saw Darry coming down yawning and tucking in this tight black shirt. Probably to show off some muscle like Pony says. "Hey beauty queen! You're finally up," Two-Bit joked. "Very funny," Darry said stepping into the kitchen. He then stepped back and looked at Tim. "Tim?" Tim looked at him lost. "What are you doing here?" he asked smiling with confusion. "Nothing… Just… came… well…" Pony looked at Darry. "Slept good Darry?" Darry nodded and headed back to the kitchen. "What the hell was that all about? 'uhh… nothing.. well…'? Could you have been more obvious?" I asked Tim. I could tell that he didn't like the way I mocked him. "Well what the fuck did you expect me to say? 'I came here with Dal 'cause we steady now'?" I didn't say anything. He was right though. It wasn't normal for Tim and me to hang at the Curtis house.

Darry came into the kitchen and asked all of us if we'd like to go out and eat. "I'm starving," he cried. "Well what do you know Darry I'm hungry too!" Two-bit said getting up to his feet. "Well then c'mon. We'll go in my-" he stopped to stare at Steve, who he had barely noticed. I got up and told Darry to let it go. "They took some time off and Steve barely picked up the courage to come here. Darry man, don't do anything to ruin what friendship they have left." He looked at me shamefully and shockingly. He couldn't belive what I had said. He nodded and finished his sentences. "C'mon. Hop in my truck, all of you." Once we got outside I looked at the sky. It was gonna get dark soon. "You know what Darry. I think Tim and I are just gonna go to Buck's and have a drink," I said loud enough for everyone to hear then quietly whispered, "you know, he's not to clingy on hanging out with us." Darry nodded and Pony laughed a little.

Tim and I began to walk to Buck's place. As Darry drove off I waved at them, letting them know I was gonna be ok. Of course Pony knew that already.

"Are we really going to Buck's?" Tim asked me both pretty much mad and disappointed.

"No. Let's go back to your place, get your car, and then go to the top."

"Top?"

'Yeah. Top of Paris Park."

"To…"  
"To get busy," I exclaimed.

"In my car?"

"Jesus! Well do you wanna go to Buck's and get one of his."

Tim's face looked disgusted. "Fuck no! That's nasty, fucking in someone else's car."

"Then why are you complaining. Let's go get yours. It's gonna get fuckin' dark soon."

Without another word we walked to Tim's house and got his car. When we reached the park's hill I only saw about three more cars and Tim decided to park as far away from them. I thought what the heck. If he wasn't gonna start then I should but then he came at me and began biting my neck. "Kiss me," I told him and he did. We went on like that, kissing and gently biting our lustful skin, for a few minutes that I didn't notice a car had park near us. Once I started taking off my pants I noticed the car and couldn't believe my fuckin' eyes. I ducked down and Tim happily said, "oh yah Dal. I need that." "Tim," I whispered. "Tim!" I pulled him down with me. "What? What? What are you doing?" There's a car parked next to us." "So? They're not _that_ close." "No, no, no, no, no. Look who's in it." Tim slowly looked and murmured, "holy shit."


	13. Buck?

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:** Buck?

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

_Shit! What to do! What to do! _I couldn't believe who Soda was with. Shit what would Steve do? "That's the soc! _That's_ the soc?" Tim exclaimed loudly. "Tim… Tim we got to get our asses out of here… now." Tim looked at me. "Oh. What do you want me to do? Make the car fly?" I ignored that and ordered him to get us out of here. "And what if they see us? See _me_ with _you_?" I ignored that too. "it doesn't matter. It's not the first time we're together anyway." "Yeah, but not here. Not where every ugly-ass steady couple comes and _makes_ _out_." I didn't think of that and then I wondered if he considered us an ugly-ass steady couple too. "Look I'll stay down. They won't see me." "Oh yeah, great. But they'll see. Yeah I just came here all by myself wishing I had someone to make out with." Rolling my eyes I told him that could be a possibility. Not that I meant it. I just liked to see him ticked. "Kid. I don't have time for this." _Kid_? He sat up and reversed so quickly that I hit my head. _Fuck_! "Tim! Fuck!" Tim put it on drive and said, "oh Dal, shut up." As quick as he could he drove off. Finally I could sit up now. "Jesus. Do you want to kill me?" I asked punching him on the head. "Well, if you were dead you wouldn't be of much use fucking now would you?" I ignored that too and I began to realize that I was ignoring a lot of things Tim was saying. I really shouldn't be letting Tim get the best of me. If any hood was changing it was me. And that wasn't good. I realized that I became … became… someone else. Someone I didn't really like. I was behaving a bit nice. Just a bit. I became a bit sensitive when it came to Tim and he was ALL I ever think about. I didn't like this. I was- I am suppose to be tough, rough, strong, and hard. I looked at Tim and couldn't help but feel warm inside. He was… different… he was… he was… more than I could wish for. There it was. It hit me. _What the fuck?_ I shook him out of my head and tried to think of something else. Something that didn't involve Tim or this weird feeling inside me. After some minutes a pure silence Tim asked me where to now.

"Where do we go now?"

"I don't know. Buck's place?" I replied.

Tim scoffed and laughed a little. "Buck's?"

I scoffed as well with an confused look to my face. "What's wrong with Buck?"

Tim didn't look at me. "What are you saying exactly?"

"There it was again. The moments where he ticks me off. "Do you not like Buck?"

He laughed rudely. "Excuse me?"

"Do you not like Buck?" I repeated.

"No I heard you. I just thought we were referring to Buck's place not Buck _itself_. "

I thought about it for a second then asked, "are you … _jealous_ of him?"

Tim pushed the breaks so hard my upper body flew and I hit my head again.

"Fuck Tim!"

"Fuck me? Fuck you! What kind of fucking question is that?"

"It's just a fucking question. You didn't have to do that!" I yelled wiping some blood off my forehead.

"Well it's a damn stupid one. Tell me Dal why would I be jealous of him?" he asked parking the car.

"Not like _that_ Tim!" I explained in a girly manner. _Jesus I need to stop._

He simply stared at me with a 'then what?' look.

"I'm just saying that he's a really good buddy of mine."

Tim rested his head and sighed. "Well, Dal. Whatever you're trying to say I am not jealous of him period."

"Sorry for asking."

"Yeah."

…

_What a day…_

He was driving and I told him that we could head to his place. So there we went.

He lay in bed and I sat in it. We weren't talking but I had the urge to tell him something and even I knew I wasn't the time to bring it up but I did. "Hey. Didn't you notice that smile Soda gave you today? Seemed kind of seductive no?" Tim looked at me as he lit a cigarette. "No. It seemed normal." "No it didn't." He looked at me again but this time I really didn't like the look he was giving me. "It's Sodapop. Dal get over yourself." _Get over myself? _"I'm not overreacting. I'm serious. Tim I like you. I like you a lot and I just didn't really like that smile Soda gave you. I admit it made me… mad." "Mad?" "Yes mad." He sat up. "Don't you mean _jealous_?" "No! ... Well maybe … maybe a little but- look I know Soda is my friend but – I know he won't try anything with you-" "Yeah, he won't. Didn't you see how he was kissing with that-" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Tim looked at me shocked but then quickly changed his expression. Trying to look serious. "Tim… please listen to me. I like you and it's only normal for me to feel this way." _I think_. "I know it may seem annoying or unnecessary but Soda and the smile-" "Normal? Normal?" Tim cried. "What's normal about you and me?" I was speechless. "We're both two hoods, both guys, and I've fucked you in the ass because you like and maybe we have nothing better to like from all the boards we have fucked. Dallas what is normal about _this_? About _us_?" I stood there frozen. I felt tears running up my eyes. _Don't cry. Not like this. Not here. _"Damn Tim. I just wanted to tell you how I felt for you. At least now I know how you feel about me." I ran out in the hallway I pushed Curly against the wall rushed out of the house. _Don't cry. Don't cry. Not for this_.

I ran and didn't stop. Soon I was outside of Buck's place. I needed a place to crash. I stepped in and Buck was sitting watching TV. He looked at me with fright. "Jesus Dal you scared me." I didn't say anything. Just stood there. Man I bet I looked so stupid just standing there in front of Tim too. _Tim_. "Dally? Are you ok?" Right when he asked me that tears began to burst out of my eyes. "No," I sobbed. "Dal. Dal. Relax Dally. It's ok," he said coming at me. I kept shaking my head. "No. No it's not," I sobbed even more. "Dal? Dally. Don't- " He looked directly at me. I bet he thought I was acting like a stupid dumbass girl. I kept weeping and sobbing. Then to my surprise he kissed me. Kissed me right in the lips!

He stopped and looked at me in the eyes. I stared at him as tears slowly streamed down my face. _Buck?_

_***Ohhh sorry this story was sooo short :( I just wanted to stop it at a little cliffhanger :) Hope you enjoyed it. I know ponyboy07 and pandalov3r did :D thanks loves_


	14. Where to go?

**Title:** Sudden change of heart

**Chapter:** Where to go?

**Author:** sodapoplover

**Warning**: Guy/Guy

**Pairing**: Dallas & Tim

**Book:** The Outsider **(I own nothing! All of these characters are property of S. E. Hinton)**

I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. I didn't know what else to say. I just stared at him as he looked back at me with frozen eyes. _Not now. Not you. _"Buck…" I finally spoke as I slowly backed away. "What is a matter with you?" He didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't know what to say either. Well if he wasn't gonna say anything I wasn't just gonna stay here. "I don't have time for this," I sighed angrily. Once I reached the door knob Buck murmured. "I know you're with Tim. I've known." Again he left me frozen. I turned around. "How… did you …know?" He sat on the couch and sighed. "I'm not stupid Dally. Why- I mean why are you with him?!" I didn't answer. He seemed uncomfortable and tired. I don't know why. But I was beginning to feel mad. Mad at Buck. Mad at Tim. Mad at the whole goddamn world. "Buck. I don't know exactly what I should tell you but right now I don't care. You can tell me how you feel about me tomorrow but right now I don't wanna listen. Right now I don't wanna talk. Right now I'm sick. Sick of it all. Fuck all. Just fuck it." My tears began to sink down and my sadness was beginning to go away. Instead anger was rising. "Fuck, Buck, I'm sorry but right now I couldn't give a shit about anything." With that said. I left. I wasn't thinking about his feelings. How I might have hurt them. Might have? How I did hurt them. I wasn't thinking about how Tim was feeling. I just wanted to think about me. I needed to push everyone away and think about myself. Fuck everyone else. If they were less concerned about how I felt why should I give a shit about them? I walked and walked and walked. That's what I needed. A walk. No… That wasn't all that I needed. I needed someone to talk to. I needed someone to listen. But right now there was no one to listen to me. No one to talk to. And when it came to me, there weren't often many people to talk to. _God this feeling really does feel ugly. _I kept walking. Walking, just walking. I didn't care where I was headed or how long it took. I just really needed to walk. I knew I was lying to myself but right now I just didn't give a shit. I was staring at my feet and not watching where I was going I hit someone.

'Shit watch where you-" I quickly got on my feet. "Fuck Ponyboy ! What the hell are you doing walking out at a time like this? Darry probably wants you back home."

Pony looked at me awkwardly. "I asked for permission. I needed to take a walk."

"You and me both…"

"Huh?"

"Nothing…" I was trying to keep that sad look off my face but I guess when you're feeling the way you're feeling you can't.

"Dallas? I know you hate when people ask you questions or try to butt in your business but… are you ok?"

_No… No I'm not ok. Just a while Tim hurt the little heart I have and Buck kissed me and I feel so… so lonely. _I didn't answer.

Pony sat down on the sidewalk. "You know Dallas… if you need someone to talk to. I'm right here. I know you and I don't get along and we're not the best of friends but if it has anything to do with Tim or even if it doesn't I am here to listen. If you need someone to listen to you I'm here. I may not be as a good listener, as Soda, when it comes to problems but you seem really hurt."

Again I didn't say anything. I stayed quiet.

"I may be wrong. Maybe you're not hurt or feeling bad but …" he stopped. "I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting." He got up and said, "well, since there is nothing to do here I'm gonna head back home. See ya."

I saw him walk away from me and I couldn't help it … I just had to say something. "Tim and I aren't doing so well."

Pony stared at me and then smiled. "I knew it."

I glared at him angrily, ready to punch him.

"AND if you need someone to talk to I'm here. I can listen and _understand. _I won't just listen."

"I just don't know what to do about him."

Pony just stared at me.

"Does he lo- like me or doesn't he. 'Cause he always seems to find a way to be an asshole or something. Especially when I least expect it," I sat on the sidewalk and pushed my hair back.

"I'm changing…" I sighed. _For once I was right. I am changing and definitely not in a good way_. "I don't know who I am anymore…"

Pony sat down somewhat close to me. "You're Dallas Winston…" he said.

We both seemed uncomfortable because I never talked about my feelings and if he ever needed someone to talk to it would definitely not me. It would be Soda or Johnny.

"I know who I am," I said angrily.

"I'm just trying to help. And hell if you know who you are then why don't you know who you are anymore?"

I looked at him but said nothing.

"You're changing 'cause you're in love and love can be blind sometimes. Whether you love Tim or like him a lot the feeling you have is new. You've never felt this way before that it scares you and worries and confuses you but that the same time it makes you… happy. This feeling is building up inside you and you don't know how to control it. It's a new feeling. It's so new that it changes you." _ It is changing me._ "But it doesn't change who you are." I stared at him blankly but I didn't tell him I didn't get what he had said. _Honestly it didn't make any since at all._

"You probably didn't understand a word I said," Pony said laughing a little.

"Excuse me? Are you calling me stupid?" I said getting up.

"No… " Pony stood up and put his hands in his pockets. "Well I hope I was of some help." He looked around and said, "I should be heading home now. See you around." With that said he walked off back home.

I stood there hoping he was of some help. Now… where to go?


End file.
